Daily Archives: April 8, 2014

Is He Wrong Or Am I Right?

This morning I was putting pop in our refrigerator.  For you East coast dwellers you may refer to is as ‘soda’.   But it’s actually pop.

I had set a can on the floor to put in my lunch box.  And in the process of doing that I kicked it over.  No big deal.  However.  Kind Husband that I have, he picked it up and put it in my lunch box for me.

Very nice, tiny little gesture.

That I appreciated.

So I said “thank you”.

And in return…..I got crickets.   As in – the sound of crickets could be heard in the silence that I heard in return.

The silence in place of “you’re welcome”.

I had come full circle.  My children would not say “you’re welcome” either.

It is like fingers on a chalkboard to me.  That silence left hanging after a thank you.

So, as I often do in conversations with my Husband.  Or, in the absence of conversations with my husband.  I said out loud “you’re welcome honey, it was nothing”.    And I followed that up with “well it was just nice.  I appreciate the little things you do.”   Because he is, after all, pretty darn perfect as a husband.  But a few times a week I play out a conversation, speaking both my part and what I imagine my husband would say if he wasn’t so busy not responding.

Husband just stares blankly at me.  For a very long pause.  Another of his traits.  He calls this “thinking”.   But apparently he wasn’t this time because he said  “I don’t think that a thank you was necessary.  It was not an action deserving of a thank you.”

What I heard  him say was “you’re an idiot for saying thank you in the first place and it didn’t deserve a ‘you’re welcome’.”

So I told him that ‘s what I heard him say.

Silence again.  I knew what he was up to.   He wanted to prove that I was wrong and he was right.

A full scale discussion followed with him saying a thank you that was not necessary does not require a “you’re welcome” and me sticking by my guns that a “thank you” expressed for a kindness appreciated does deserve a “you’re welcome”.

The fact remains he never says “you’re welcome”.   I sometimes get a “hmmm”.  Or the kids greatest response was always “yeah”.

I suppose the question is….if someone is grateful enough to say ‘thank you’, whether you the receiver of the ‘thank you’ believe your action deserved a ‘thank you’ or not…. do you or do you not respond with ‘you’re welcome’?

Or do you leave the thanker hanging….in that ever so silent world of believing the thanker to be an idiot for thanking you to begin with?

Thank you for reading.  (Saw that coming didn’t you?)

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