If You Ever….

If you ever birthed, adopted or fostered a child.

If you ever held a baby for endless hours because you wanted the child to sleep, whether you did nor not.

If you ever held a vomiting child.   Or had a child projectile vomit in your face.   Or held a baby high, laughing at their beauty, and they spit up in your laughing face-and you kept laughing while gagging.

If you ever read story after story after story after story after story after story after story.  Then read another one.

If you ever laughed at 1,279 ‘knock knock’ jokes that ended with “it’s me mom!”

If you ever went out scouting the neighborhood, or the school, or the football game to get a glimpse of the boy/girl that broke your child’s heart.  Or called them a name.  Or pulled their hair.  Or gave them a dirty look.  Or did something so incredibly kind for your child….and you just wanted to see what that part of your child’s life looks like.

If you ever told your child how to deal with bullies in the most positive and encouraging way and then went to your room and cried your heart out because you didn’t understand how anyone could be mean to your child.

If you ever floated on air because someone went out of their way to tell you your child was well mannered/kind/considerate/or just funny and sweet.

If you ever felt so proud of your child because they stuck up for someone else and did what was right even when it was hard to do because it made them unpopular.

If you ever had physical pains from making sure you did not roll your eyes at your child’s 57 minute version of a 30 second story.

If you ever did or said something wrong and apologized to your child and told them that they were right.  And asked for their forgiveness.

If you ever heard “I hate you” from your child and though your heart broke you love them so much you smile and say that’s okay I love you enough for the both of us.   And waited until they realized they don’t hate you.  Because you know they don’t.

If you ever hid in the bathroom for 20 seconds of peace because that’s all you could get before they found you.

If you ever went without so your child could have.

If you ever taught your child that doing without is not always a bad thing.

If you ever relearned math/science/sentence structure/grammar/Spanish/Latin/geography/etc so you could help with homework.

If you ever acknowledged “I’m sorry I don’t know, but I’ll find out/we’ll find out together”.

If you ever dropped to your knees and begged/pleaded/offered your soul for the well being of your child.

If you ever supported your child’s decision that took him/her away and broke your heart.

If you ever made 6935 dinners in a row (give or take).   Multiply that by three if you also did the breakfasts and lunches.

If you ever stepped in to the role of mom as a male.

If you ever stayed awake for 24/32/40/48 hours straight because of anything your child needed.

If you ever made a costume/baked cookies/typed a report for your child who let you know they needed help five minutes before bedtime the night before it was needed.

If you ever let down/disappointed/hurt your child and spent the rest of your life trying to repair what you only got one real shot at doing right.  Regretting mistakes and yearning for do-overs.

If you ever rocked your child for hours/days/months/years and now sit rocking alone, decades later,  on your porch waiting to see if they visit.

If you ever catch yourself singing a song you sang twenty/thirty/fifty/seventy years ago to your once so small babe in arms.

If you ever burst out laughing when you hear yourself coming out of your child’s mouth and see pure terror on their face.

If you ever stood back and watched your child walk/drive away knowing it will be months, maybe years, before you see them again.  Standing brave and waving them on while your heart is shattering in to a million pieces.  While being so proud of their courage.

If you ever stood back while your child reached a goal/graduated/received an award/succeeded and gave all credit to your child without patting yourself on the back.  Recognizing the effort of your child.  And ignoring if not forgetting your own efforts on their behalf.

If you ever loved as a mom.

Happy Mother’s Day…..every day.