My Promise Again

My promise to who I am.

Regardless of how well people think they know me there are some things that I want to make sure are understood about me.  If you ever need to come in to my home and make decisions for me because that’s what needs done I would appreciate it if you know these things and respect them.

I promise that I primarily prefer people to be happy.   I understand sadness and moodiness.  But my promise to myself is to keep those feelings in check.  Limit their stay.  And wallow in joy.

I promise that I am not vain.   But I am particular about being clean.   I don’t mind getting dirty as long as I can get clean as soon as I’m done with the need to be dirty.  I like my hair not too short but short enough to be messy spiky.  I prefer to not stink.  Though I don’t need to be all perfumey.  I like my clothes to fit.  But be comfortable.  As it is right now my outfit of choice is bike shorts and extra large nylon type shirts.  I prefer barefoot.

I promise that I love music.  I will sway my hands in the air as I ride my bike on a trainer as I sing along with a song.  Or I fold my hands over my heart if I am moved by emotion and faithful music.  I promise I’ll try to listen to anything.  But if I can’t sing to it it probably won’t need to be played a second time for me.

I promise when I sing songs I will get the lyrics wrong.

I  promise I will always be afraid of not like snakes.   I promise I find no joy in being teased about this.

I promise that I love quiet, as much as I love music.   There’s a balance.  Sadly, only I know it.

I promise that I love people.   I admire people.  I empathize with people.  I hurt for people.  I celebrate for people.   But I am not always at ease with people.

I promise that I never want someone else to hurt- for me to find joy or happiness.   That is an impossibility.

I promise that there are things I can live without.   But there are people who without them I could not exist.

I promise that I will always love chocolate.  Dark chocolate is my favorite.

I promise that I will always think there is something I should be doing differently to be a better person.

I promise that the above statement is a completely healthy way to want to live.

I promise that even in the hardest moments of my life I will find, eventually and maybe hidden, joy in my heart.

I promise that though I have mostly removed many things from my diet I will always, stress always, love:  BBQ ribs; deep fried buckeyes, deep fried almost anything; meatloaf; hot white bread with real butter; cake; full fat ice cream; cheeseburgers; it’s probably safe to say pretty much all foods that are bad for you.   I promise the only reason I restrict them is because I want to live as long as possible.

I promise I am not perfect.

I promise you that there are those among you that I admire every single day of my life.

I promise that I love to laugh.

I promise that I love to pray.

I promise that I love to listen to other’s life stories.

I promise that I could write hundreds more sentences that start with “I promise”.

But my promises are for my children.  My friends.  My family.   So I feel I  can never make enough of them.  And I want to work hard to stay true to my promise.

I promise to be who I am for as long as I can be.

I promise to love you.  It’s who I am.

I write this in honor of all of the people I see on nearly a daily basis who have no one left to hold them to their promise of themselves.

44 thoughts on “My Promise Again

  1. What a human being you are, Chatter Master… Always thinking about others… And dark chocolate, eh? 🙂 I shall have to remember that…

    And being barefoot… A bazillion years from now – provided we don’t blow ourselves up – a scientist will be exploring what was Ohio and discover your barefoot prints in the rock that was once a soft forest floor. Because of the niceness that flowed from that fossilize print even after all those bazillion years, he will call this species Chattermasteronicus-I-Should-Be.

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  2. Although you wrote this for people you ‘see’ every day, I will take the liberty of including myself because we communicate almost daily. I will say that this is a lovely essay letting us know more about the kind of person you are, and yet, I feel I actually already knew so much of it.

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  3. Colleen, This is wonderful in every sense! I pray for you, and all human beings, that with the right care, love, advocacy and attention the days that of needed assistance are minimal, painless and filled with warmth and some measure of joy. Every person needs joy on a daily basis.

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  4. Damn you Colleen, you have ended my day with a tear of joy in my eye. I loved your promises, each and everyone especially the one about the food that isn’t good for you. What a joyful present you have given us and those you see who need that one last helping hand. I knew you were special when I read that 1st post, and day after day, week after week you keep affirming how special you truly are. BTW i hate snakes like Indiana Jones. Please take care, BIll

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    • 🙂 I’m glad I’m not the only one like Indiana Jones.

      A tear of joy in your eye is better than a poke in the belly! Thank you for sharing my joyful existence Bill. You have raised the bar on my many times! ❤

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  5. I promise to never expect you to be anything other than exactly what you laid out in front of me in this post Colleen. Unless you change your mind about something at a later date.

    I promise that I knew so much of this about you already from reading your words every day for the last year-plus. You really are true to yourself, you Chatterer, you.

    I promise that I admire you for all of this, my friend. This part is very easy.

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  6. There is nobody that can express … the inner strength like you. I think you promises is very powerful and still so simple – so down to earth … they are Colleen Brown – and I’m so proud over being your friend.

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