Pardon The F Bomb

Hate.   I don’t get you.  So many things are done in your name.  So many things are done with you as the prompt and the excuse.   But I don’t get it.   I don’t get you hate.  And I don’t want to.

I am not filled with hate so there are certain actions I don’t understand.

I don’t understand people expending and even creating energy to spew you in to other’s lives.

Please know, hate, that I don’t confuse you with anger.  I get angry.  And then I try to get past angry.   I don’t get angry and look to turn it in to hate.   I look for ways to get rid of anger so it doesn’t simmer in to a slow and rolling and killing boil.

I don’t even know how to respond to you.  You surprise me when you are flung at me.  I have to admit, that makes me angry.   When I am being assaulted with hate and I’m looking at or listening to your assualt, I am not tempted to turn to you.  I am not tempted to become you,  hate.  I am horrified by what I see or hear.    My beliefs and the core of my humanity repel you even more.  I am strengthened to not become you.

But you still exist.

You think you have the right to judge.

You think you have the right to condemn.

You make decisions you have no right to make.

You stir the pot, poke the bear and fart out nauseous gases.

I have no desire to do those things.

But when you stir, poke and fart you intrude in to my world.

I have cowered in your presence.  Not because I fear you.  But because I am shocked.  How am I supposed to respond to irrational reasoning and lack of understanding?  How are those of us willing to work towards healing, compromise, tolerance,  understanding and compassion supposed to respond to something so vile and full of contempt.

I have cowered for lack of knowledge on how to respond.  I cowered, bewildered at being a target.  I cowered, because I care about how your actions may impact someone else if I respond with a rousing and powerful FUCK YOU.  So I don’t say anything.   Because I can’t hate enough to say and do things to hurt someone else.  Your actions and your desire to plant and grow within my heart and soul will not work.

Hate, I got one thing to say to you:

It ain’t gonna happen.

Whatever name you go by.  Whatever form you take.  Whatever scent you try to persuade me with.

You will never, ever, own me.

~~~

Speaking something with hate and contempt does not make it true.

It just makes you hateful and contemptuous.

41 thoughts on “Pardon The F Bomb

  1. Indeed it exists. And many fuel it intentionally and others, obliviously.

    I will not allow it to permeate me or to suck me in, either. But that doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with it.

    What works for me, Colleen (and I realize we all have different coping/rationalizing/processing techniques) is to deal with hate similarly to ways I deal with the ego mind. It’s an awkward co-existence. When either rear its ugly presence, I acknowledge it (sometimes internally, sometimes overtly), quietly thank it for choosing to inflict itself on me, and then I politely dismiss it. I do not engage, as desperately as I may want to at times. It’s futile to battle a poorly intentioned challenger.

    Instead, I choose to channel my valuable time, energy and strengths into arenas where I can contribute to constructive and meaningful outcomes. But that’s just me.

    Besides, love will always prevail, even if in some cases, it’s not in our lifetime.

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    • I have spent past (too much of it) time on the dwelling of anger and hate. I consciously chose a long time ago to work hard at not letting anger wrap it’s chains around me. And I don’t want to let hate grab hold of me either. Like you say so eloquently though, I do have to acknowledge it’s attach and presence. And I have to work through it. Discard it. Which is what this writing was all about. And you say love will prevail, I believe in that. And it’s what makes me, in this case (and many) not resort to the actions that build and support hate. I don’t care to retaliate with hateful words. I don’t care to destroy. I do need, however, to wash off and get rid of the slime cast my way. It amazes me what some people think it is okay to say and do to others. I have a difficult time dealing with people who purposefully strike out verbally or otherwise to hurt others. Constructive and meaningful, Eric I’m working on joining you on that constructive platform. 🙂 Thank you.

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  2. Colleen, again you have totally amazed me. You have taken a subject, and boiled it down to its’ simpliest terms, that even an uneducation, uninformed, uncaring, nonloving, uninspired person could and would take the time to read and understand could be the 1st step in desolving some of the hate, or at least expose it for what it may be. And to break the chain only one link has to be weak. Thank you, so so very well said. Now we must get the word out. Take care, Bill

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  3. Colleen, I understand where you are coming from and there is no words that can heal what have been done.
    But on the other hand who is saying “sorry” for all the bombs that has blown up innocent people all over the world, when missiles are dropped wrongly by governments. No government will say the world – sorry, our fault.
    I really respect your anger.

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  4. I have to agree with the other comments. The F word was used quite appropriately here. I don’t understand hate, either. Oh, I use the word when I probably shouldn’t. “I hate okra!” but do I really hate it? No. I just don’t like it. Or “I hate it when…” Hate is such a strong word and, as you know, I work on weeding it out of my vocabulary. I’ll work on the F word once I get rid of hate. 🙂

    I kid around a little, but do understand what you’re getting at here. I sometimes wonder if the big hates stem from little hates that weren’t weeded out.

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    • I like your kidding, and I always question myself and any use of the word hate. The less I rely on the easy fall back the less I will use as a default to use it describe hurt, frustration and other emotions. Thank you Robin. Here’s to the weeding we can all do! 🙂

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  5. You are so right about hate, Colleen. It is composed entirely of emotion. It has no brain. It rolls like a train down a track with no brakes and no conductor and fire spewing out of the old-fashioned engine car. People who hate do not hear because they do not want to listen. Whew, I fear hate because there is no reasoning with it, and I know there’s too much of it around, that’s for sure.

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  6. Your use of the F bomb is quite appropriate, Colleen! I hate people who instill in us ‘hate’ and I cannot allow them to do this to me, shake me up and make me upset and I don’t like ‘hate’ in all corners of the world, poor babies and children who are innocent bystanders and injured by ‘hate.’ Exactly, F ‘hate!!’

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    • Exactly Robin. And what makes me wonder…..how do people think they have the ‘right’ to inflict their ugly thoughts on others? I don’t know how people’s brains work so differently. I would never think I have the right to spew on others like that.

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  7. Very powerful essay Chatter Master.

    Now one truly realizes how powerful hate is and how it corrupts us all when we return hate with hate. Hateful responses gives hate the strength to grow and eventually win.

    Most would love to see and inflict harm, however hate wants to evoke a hateful response and little by little hate remains to continue its feeding.

    To combat hate is to show signs of love in a verbal form or standing silent as hate realizes they are no longer drawing out hateful responses.

    Some would say this is not the way, but remaining silent to sue civilly or report their hateful actions to the appropriate authority will in time show how hate manages to appear, which is simply hate.

    Now I know this passive statement is going to shock many, but its my opinion after many years of viewing how hate feeds upon those who allow it to fester and eventually erupt to hateful responses.

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