Monthly Archives: September 2014

The Change Of Life

The change of life.   This is a misnomer.  It should be applied to parenting.

That’s when life changes.

In so many ways.

The obvious of course, the now mom’s body-it’s never going to be the same.   It just is not.   That’s no biggie though.  Probably the least of the changes.

Sleep.   You will never spend another night without the thoughts and worries of being a mom.   A hyper-sensitive nerve is created when that baby is born.   Every noise through the night, every anxiety you felt during the day, every odd sound out of your child is magnified at night when you should be sleeping.   You will never again sleep the way you did before your child was born.  N.E.V.E.R.    Don’t think them growing up and moving on in to their own adult lives will give you a respit.   It will not.

Eating.   I would have sacrificed my last meal for my children.    How many mom’s go hungry to make sure their child gets fed?   And the flip side of that?  How many moms (me) gained fifty pounds while raising their child?   Eating while cooking, cooking meals to accommodate a working parent and a school age child.   Eat breakfast with a spouse, eat breakfast with the kids up for school.   Oh, well, I’ll have some toast while I’m feeding the baby her breakfast.   Cleaning up the dishes and seeing a perfectly good portion of macaroni and cheese on the place, too tired to store, too cost conscience to pitch it, so to not be wasteful mom’s eat it.   Clean platers all around thanks to mom!

Clothes.   I don’t really care what I wear as long as the kids have decent clothes to go to school, go to the pool, go to the dance.   Not to mention all of the kid stains that adorn mom’s those first few years.   And I have to give a special shout out to those mom’s who sacrificed their own clothes to wipe a kid’s nose with their T-shirt when there were no tissues to be found at the ball game.   Kudos.

Hair.   I use to have hair long enough to sit on.  Until my babies kept getting wrapped up in it.   Now and forever more it will be short enough to stick straight up.   No worry hair do.   No fuss hair do.   No babies found wrapped up and lost within.

Teaching moments.  Your life is now spent using every available incident, accident, purposeful moment to teach your child something valuable.  Something to make them better as people, smarter as students, kinder as humans.   And if you have more than one child?   How many times did my mother of 8, or her mother of 12, teach a child to tie a shoe, write their name, learn left from right?  I still remember being confused on the “left and right” side of life.   Mom was cooking, at the stove.   I just couldn’t get it.  If I’m facing this direction, which is left, which is right?  If I turn in this direction, which is left, which is right?   Panic was taking over.   Mom put down her spatula, threw her hands in the air and said “if I’m standing here this is left” as she waggled her left  hand, “and this is right”   waggling her right hand.   She turned a quarter of a circle and did the same, turned a quarter of a circle and did the same, turned a quarter of a circle and did the same.   Got back to where she started, did the same, and said “do you see?”   Yes, I saw.   Then when I was older I wore my class ring on my right hand so I always knew which was my right hand.

There is nothing about me that has remain unchanged since the birth of my children.   Nothing.

I was forced by choice to consider my decisions a little more closely because I knew they would look at what I was doing, and apply it to their lives.   If that’s what mom does……

In moments of pain I acted a little stronger so they wouldn’t see me and be fearful.    If mom hurts….

If I was tired I had to push a little more and go a little further than I thought I could.   If mom can’t do it…..

If I didn’t know the answer I had to find it, or create it.   If mom didn’t know the answer, where would they go to find it….

If I couldn’t give them comfort, or pay attention to their childhood angst I would risk so very much.   Moms develop radar and create a safe zone of love and comfort.

When I was happy I sang my joy.   Because mom being happy….means we are all happy.

I thank God every day for the changes in my life.

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