I was standing in a prison.
Looking out.
No!
Really!
I was standing in an abandoned prison.
Looking out.
And took this picture.
When I looked at the little screen and saw this image
It struck me.
I wondered about those men who stood long ago where I freely stood now.
Would they think my curiosity odd?
When they could not-
I walked in freely.
I walked out freely.
Then-
I looked at this image again.
I wonder.
How many of us stand within our own darkness.
Our own confinement.
And cannot, will not, choose not,
To walk out.
I love this! Both image and verse. It could be scrawled out in one of a dozen notebooks, I’ll probably never find it, but it reminds me of a piece I wrote a couple of years ago which pondered a similar question.
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If you ever do come across it….I hope you share. It wasn’t until I saw the picture when I was standing outside that I thought the second part of this piece.
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Just reading this triggered my file cabinet search in my brain…. I think I might know which journal its in. I’ll check when I get back home later today. (I couldn’t sleep and am already up and out at a cafe. Oh, out of curiosity, are you also an insomniac or on you in an earlier time zone?)
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If you are in Seattle I am in an earlier time zone. Ohio zone. And I don’t have insomnia. But I get up early enough before work to ride my bike (created a bike desk so I can ride a real bike on my trainer and be on the computer at the same time.) I ride for an hour before work. Makes for not always great responses from me. š
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I found the prose that this piece of yours reminded me of. I wrote it back in 2009 and recalled that I had emailed it to a friend. I still have no idea where the original journal is. (Just moved out of my apartment in June and completely into William’s house.Most of my things are still in boxes. Haven’t been able to deal with the “stuff” yet.) Anyway, after rereading it I realized it’s actually a poem in the making. I’ll finish editing it and get it up later today.
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It’s published. Let me know what you think. The nine panes were in the living room of the apartment I lived in for 5 years prior to moving into this house, the former maid’s quarters under the eaves of a mansion with a view of Puget Sound and the Olympic Mountains.
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Okay, I have to admit. If I had been in that room, sitting in that chair, I would have had a wild ride through my imagination wondering about the maids who sat in that room looking out that 9 paned window. I would have tried to see it the way they see it. Did it make them happy to see it? Did it make them sad to see it? Did it inspire them in any way or make them feel blocked in?
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I did see it! And I loved it! (You’ll see) š
I hope things are “settling” in your new home.
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At a glacial pace, but yes. Thank you.
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You know we speak the same language. š This is a fine piece, Ms. Brown. Well composed and conveyed.
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Thank you Eric! š
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Oh come on Colleen…what did you do this time? No, wait, don’t answer that, I don’t want to know. I’m coming with the bail money…
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You are the BEST! You are my favorite today! Not even caring what it was and you’re on your way! But save your money, send chocolate!!! š
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But of course!
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Very well written Colleen š
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Thank you Irene! š
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I love the analogy.
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Thank you 1jaded1.
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this is beautiful and intense –
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Thank you Beth.
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Strong feeling in this Coll, some unfortunately as you say cannot move, or bend the bars to break free.
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When I freely moved about and walked outside in to the sunshine, and looked at the picture on my camera Jen, it really hit me how difficult it must be.
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Wow, this is great! The photo with your words, VERY POWERFUL. Gave me chills. ā¤
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Thank you Paulette. ā¤ I love it when I manage put words together (with image) and create response. Isn't it wonderful???
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I find the photo a little chilling when put taking in the perspective of a real prisoner looking out into the world, knowing this is as good as it gets. I cannot get my head around being confined.
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Me either Tess. I walked upstairs and was in a dorm style room. I turned and looked out the window and saw the guard tower. Made me sad. And reflective of who else stood there looking out.
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I just read two prison novels. Two in a row about women in prison and how hard it is. On the one hand I feel sorry for them but then again…
Sometimes, as well, the law is not just. Those who should receive a longer term, don’t and some of those who do, don’t deserve the serve sentence for what they did.
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I see that nearly every day where I work. We can’t fathom how some crimes go unpunished/unheld accountable. And others…..slam. Put away. There seems to be no balance in judgment.
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I used to say, “You do the crime; you do the time.” After reading the memoir and novel, I’ve changed my mind, especially about women in prison
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Well that is fascinating. That change of thought, change of heart.
It must have been pretty powerful.
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I saw and understood a lot of inequality and bad raps for women, a lot who were coerced and did not deserve their time.
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How did our world get so messed up?
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Good question. š¦
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There is one curious thing I have to say after reading all the comments…..DONT THESE PEOPLE SLEEP?? LOOK AT THE TIMES. Otherwise, Colleen this is wonderful, both the writing and the photography! Is that a guardtower???
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š I don’t know if the times are their times. or my times, or time zones their comments pass through. š
It is a guard tower. And thank you Cindy. š
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That’s powerful, and probably most of us in one way or another.
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You are probably very correct in that statement. Good call Gibber.
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What a great image capture! The idea of being trapped…unable to get out…languishing…It sounds soul-withering. It’s worth a look inward to be sure we haven’t unwittingly compromised our freedoms with a stint in self-imposed prison. Whew! Pretty deep stuff, Colleen.
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It is worth looking inward isn’t? And we may not even be aware of the prison we keep ourselves in. But, I’ve known some who imprison themselves and feel safer there. Having no desire to be free.
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a profound observation…I know that it’s true, some are trapped in a prison of their own making not realizing they are the only one that can free themselves.
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I’m sure some of those folks may even recognize it, but choose to stay there. Feeling safer. š¦
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yep….:(
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Penetrating indeed…
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š Thanks Koji.
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This was profound, Colleen. Simply beautifully expressed. We all are in our cages or our own prisons, at one time in our life or other.
My last marriage was a little bit controlling and confining, along with negative elements. I felt huge relief, once I decided I would bear God’s wrath and divorce him. My first two husbands were unfaithful, which the Bible says “If he should leave, you need not follow…” My last husband just was not the right fit, I felt myself drowning and only after 13 years of trying to fix things, did I leave. My minister told me she was thinking if I hadn’t I may have drowned, I was just barely treading water. Your posts speak to me, Colleen.
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Great example of our personal prisons Robin. I’m glad you gave yourself a pardon. Thank you for sharing your story. We never know what the other’s prison truly is, do we???
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Hmmm. Perspective is all. Your post makes me think – deeply. Thank-you.
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You’re welcome. Thank you for reading it. š
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So many layers, so true. There are a variety of prisons, inner, outer…and for whatever the reason it can be so hard to leave. Yet, in time, sometimes that is all it takes, time and hope, and then people leave their prison. Still the inner prison is the hardest.
Well written and said, Colleen, yoy have thinking even more. That is an interesting thought too. What would those men from the past think of your curiosity? History is fascinating…I wonder what they would think of the world with the technology we have as it stands. Amazement or befuddlement?
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When ever I stand in a place that I know holds the story of others I can’t help but want to KNOW those stories.
And only speaking for myself, knowing today’s technology I am both amazed AND befuddled. š
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Hmmm, excellent post.
I’ve been there a few times. Hope to never return.
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I remember watching a very very old movie. There was a young boy genie in a bottle. A very plush and lovely bottle. But at one point he said something to the effect that “even a beautiful prison is still a prison”. I’ve always remembered that. And no matter how “nice” our environment or ‘space’ is, if we are not free, we are trapped. I’m with you. I don’t want to go there again either.
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Your metaphors are awesome.
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Thank you Jim! š
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Yes, some bars are self made, Colleen. Indeed. Great post, my friend. Now everybody can picture your idea.
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Thank you Mark. I have created my own, and torn them down.
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Tough one to comment on for me. I have had situations that I created and chose to free myself. Then I have a little problem with a thing called depression. I don’t choose it, but I certainly work hard to recover.
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….and prison is what depression feels like. Standing out a window hoping with all my heart I could be free.
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That’s a powerful statement.
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I knew this picture would relate to many on different levels and from different experiences. Depression easily came to my mind when I wrote this. Some prisons are of our own doing, and some (like depression) are not. I know you work hard April, it shows.
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