Another Serving of Beef Tits

Despite this blog title, it really is not an inappropriate heading.   It’s just funny.

My daughter stopped by to see me, to cheer up her sick old mom.  “Old” as in how I feel, not in reference to my age.

She was telling me stories about her on-the-job training at a local hospital.   One of the tasks she was training for was delivering food to patients.   She went in to one room where an 85 year old lady was sitting in her bed.  It took my daughter 20 minutes to assist the lady in getting settled in the proper position, get her bed tray set just right,  and food in the proper place.  Twenty minutes.  Daughter wasn’t sure what the lady’s problems were and couldn’t figure out why the lady just “wasn’t getting it”.   When all seemed well and the patient seemed ready to eat my daughter says “I hope you enjoy your meal”.   Lady says “wait, you can’t go.  You have to tell me whats to eat.  I’m hungry, and I’m blind”.   Daughter felt if she had known the lady was blind things would have made a lot more sense.

She proceeds to try and tell her what’s on her tray.

Don’t jump ahead of the story.  Just let this play out in all of the glory of how it happened.

Daughter says “beef tips”.

Lady says “what?”

Daughter says “beef tips”.

Lady says “what?”

This goes back and forth. The patient finally asks my daughter to spell it.  Daughter spells it.  Lady is staring in the general direction of daughters face.  She says “I have no idea what you are saying!”

Daughter says “beef tips” as loud as she possibly can without screaming at the woman.

The poor old lady patient, who apparently also has a hearing problem,  exclaims “BEEF TITS?!!!

Daughter yells “NO!!!    BEEF TIPS.  TIPS.  TIPS!!!!”

The patient says “I don’t think I like those.”

Oh daughter, thank you for making me laugh.   As a follow up, the lady was funny and sweet.  I am sure she is repeating the story to her family and friends and wondering what the hell the local hospital is serving.

By the way, I’m not sick.  I wrote this back in 2010.