The Dance Of Co-Existence

If you are angry, or hate, all I ask is that you explain it.

The way to understanding is to talk.

I’ll listen.  And do my best to learn.

I may not understand.  But I’ll listen.  I’ll sit with you.  Listen to what you have to say.  I’ll ask questions.  I’ll explain if what you say to me doesn’t make sense.  I mean, we do have different perspectives.  So let’s get them both out there.  And sometimes I need things explained in more than one way.  So I’ll respect you by asking to explain if I don’t get it.  You, you listen to what I say.  Then you tell me why don’t agree with me and why I don’t get it.  Why I still don’t get it.  Me, I’ll listen again.  Probably run my hand through my spiky hair.  Trying. Trying to hear, to listen.  I’ll acknowledge to you that I don’t understand, if I don’t.  That I can’t get it.  But I’ll keep listening.  And keep responding.

You, and I, as long as we keep doing this, are talking.  And trying.  And the whole time we are in this process I may be begging internally, maybe even vocalizing, please don’t hate me because I don’t understand.  Or don’t agree.  And if we keep talking maybe I’ll get brave enough, or you’ll get brave enough, and we’ll beg each other-please don’t hurt me/us because we don’t believe the same thing, agree on the same thing, think the same way, praise the same way or live the same way.

As long as we are talking, and listening, and existing together in a dance of trying to understand we are far too busy to harm one another.  I prefer the dance to the battle.

And along the way-maybe we’ll get to know one another.  Maybe we will never agree.  Maybe will never fully understand.  Perhaps, we will come to a new appreciation of differences, and learn to be okay with our differences.  And learn that our differences can exist without being a threat to each other.

And we will have discovered-we have no desire to hate someone or be angry with someone so willing to show each other such respect.

In the process of listening and learning.

And trying to understand one another.

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30 thoughts on “The Dance Of Co-Existence

  1. Conversation seems to be the only hope, the only sane answer. And yet, the seeds of hatred that are so deep rooted may not ever change without it being shocked away with devastating sorrow. It’s an ongoing prayer of mine, that hearts open and hatred stops. I will never let go that wish. I love you, your voice, your heart, for the light you shine to help achieve this. Blessings and wishes for happy, peaceful, holidays for your and your family from me and my gang. ❤

    • Thank you Paulette, for the wishes and hopes and dreams. The prayers. The never letting go. If we who believe we can co-exist give up one by one, the hate takes us over one by one. Even if we don’t become haters, if we become apathetic, then negativity still gains footing.

      And to you and all of yours many blessings for all of the joy that goes with love and goodness and cookies. 🙂

  2. This reminds me of an episode of The Office where Pam and Jim decide they would rather fight with each other than be alone. I know my comment doesn’t do the sentiment much justice, but your blog does!

  3. inmycorner says:

    I love thinking about communication as a dance. Nice analogy. There is an actual phenomenon known at the United Nations dance which was coined when two diplomats were caught communicating on film. The two were from difference cultures: one where being close was acceptable, and the other where keeping distance was acceptable. So – each time one spoke, he either moved forward or backward to get close or to gain distance. What a great post – to see communication as a dance – and to never give up for fear of stepping on toes. Beautiful.

  4. NotAPunkRocker says:

    Very well said. So many people, on all sides of all issues, resort to name calling and have lost the art of civilized debate.

    • So well said. Why can’t we listen to each other. You can tell me you don’t agree with me without telling me you hate me because I’m different. And I can hear you tell me I’m different, or you’re different, and not hate you. As a matter of fact, I kind of think I’m boring, I like learning about you, and you, and you. And maybe I’m not as boring to someone else, who doesn’t know me. And….. you know….. hate is just something we need to stop teaching. It really is.

  5. Gyslaine L. says:

    Yes this is very important 🙂

  6. Some of the trouble is, we haven’t enough patience to actually listen. It’s the but…but…but..having to have our say without fully listening.

    Terrific post, once again, Colleen. Maybe one of these days we’ll get it: you have to shut UP to listen, and be patient till it’s your turn to speak. ❤ ❤ ❤

    • THAT/THIS is the crux of the problem Tess. We don’t WANT to listen to what we don’t agree with or understand. And if we are the ones not being understood, we don’t WANT to or feel the NEED to explain ourselves. Then there is no communication. On either side. And there isn’t difference on ONE side. BOTH sides have the difference. BOTH sides have the responsibility to speak, listen, and repeat.

  7. markbialczak says:

    But some people only want to hate and never want to talk, Colleen. Awful.

  8. April says:

    Everyone—well, I can’t put all into the same category—but the non-listeners? The haters? The violent ones? They see only one side. There is no other side. I wish I knew why.

  9. reocochran says:

    Listening is such a fantastic gift. I am against haters and wish they would go explore a different planet to ‘pollute,’ Colleen!

  10. My heart opens up with ever word, every sentence, and every plead. I am here for you as well. I will listen…..

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