Cringe Free

The thing about being a person who is not a hugging kind of person

Is that there are surprises.

When receiving an unexpected hug

And it makes one smile.

Hugged

Cringe free

Safe

Happy to see you hugs

Are happy things.

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34 thoughts on “Cringe Free

  1. NotAPunkRocker says:

    Aw, I love the illustration of the hug! 🙂

  2. Mustang.Koji says:

    I almost didn’t see the color on my cell phone… so I guess it’s ok. Lol

  3. Yes, I used to not be much of a hugger but now I’m kind of warming up to it. Nevertheless, virtual hugs almost never make you cringe, so here’s one for you!!

  4. Robin says:

    Happy to see you hugs are the best kind, especially if they are cringe-free. 🙂

  5. goldfish says:

    Awwww. I’m not a hugging kind of person either.

  6. My ex-M-i-L was as cringe-ger, but somehow I won her over… at least for awhile, before the end came. 😦

  7. Can’t help I’m a hugger but try to pay attention to the energy clues that say (scream) don’t touch me! lol ❤ Wishing you and yours very happy holidays, Colleen. ❤ 🙂

    • Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to you and yours Paulette!

      I SO appreciated those who are sensitive. Which makes a hug all that much more “bearable”. 🙂 The most awful of the hugs are those who demand it, expect it, feel entitled to and think that by forcing that hug they are “fixing” my “problem”. 🙂 They just don’t get it. 😉

  8. What a marvelous illustration of a very warm and happy realization. 🙂

  9. April says:

    They are. 🙂

  10. dogear6 says:

    I’m glad you were happy to accept the hug for what it was, a showing of affection towards you. The last time you posted on this, the problem wasn’t the hug, it was the over-familiarity of the person doing it, which I could understand.

    I’ve been doing a lot more hugging with saying good-bye to people. I ask first, but most everyone has been happy for it.

    Nancy

    P.S. I’m getting a lot of good quality interviews. Things will slow down the next few weeks, but stuff is a-happening.

    • I’m looking forward to what is happening for you Nancy! My husband is in the exact same process as you right now. Fingers crossed for you both!

      And the hugs….yes. I am still not comfortable or happy with demanding and assertive people who ignore others discomfort. It’s down right cruel in some cases. But some hugs I absolutely recognize as genuine and comfortable and I’m okay with. I know it’s not easy for those who are huggers to read so many signs. But it is sure appreciated when someone actually asks, or hesitates because they aren’t sure. That one time when I had the courage to say “I’M NOT A HUGGER” and she literally lunged at me and said “BUT I AM” and grabbed me really put me off and shook me up. Ah well. I did survive. 😉

  11. reocochran says:

    I cannot resist hugging many people, hoping that they won’t cringe, but you brought this up so I will try to be aware… nice to have the hug warmly received, Colleen!

    • I have grown, over the years, to trust myself. I used to stand at a distance from any and all hugs but the ones I trusted (my children and my spouse). As I’ve grown and learned to trust again, I’ve become comfortable with some. But I will never be comfortable with assertive people who think there is something wrong with me and literally force themselves on me. Ugh! But warm, safe, comfort giving, or comfort needing people? I’m turning into a believer. 😉

      • reocochran says:

        Glad to hear you are turning into a believer of hugs, Colleen. I don’t like people who push themselves upon others nor tend to give indiscriminate hugs. I am one who if you are on the receiving end, I have figured out a reason for giving the hug. I enjoy receiving hugs, but don’t wish to get them from negative people who say mean things and then smile and hug. The hugs become simply meaningless…

  12. markbialczak says:

    Uh-oh, Colleen. I am a serial hugger. Do you mean not all hugs are welcome all the time? I never knew …

    • No, not any more. There was a time, yes. But we grow. We learn. Trust is redeveloped. Long stories here Mark. I did NOT like to be hugged. SHORTEST SUMMARY POSSIBLE: I was told it was MY problem, not the huggers, I was told I was ‘broken’, I was told they are huggers so they are going to hug, etc. My issues I discovered, were not the hugs themselves, but people who insist on hugging when they know someone wishes not to (because of personal boundaries lets say ….for having been molested or such….) and those wishes even after being expressed being blatantly ignored. Okay wait. This summary is not so short.

      Anyway…. 🙂 Years ago when I figured out it was not the touch it’s self but a persons aggressive nature behind demanding a right to touch me….THAT was the issue. And that kind of aggressiveness rankles me.

      But friends? Hugs away friend. 🙂

      • markbialczak says:

        People who cannot read signals and take what they want regardless are not cool, Colleen. You are totally right on this account. Bad huggers they are, in a very mean way. Shame on them.

        • Thank you for the support Mark! I do get that some signals may be misunderstood….but some signals are ACTUAL words that say DON’T TOUCH ME. 😉 I love a friendly and safe hug. 🙂

  13. Being brought up with European influence and friends, I am used to receiving and giving hugs, kisses on cheeks. I find it hard for people who don’t, but I understand personal space issues too. I am glad you hugged back and loved the illustration 💜

    • Thank you Jen. I love it when people are so respectful. That’s what builds up trust in those who have lost it or had it ripped from them in traumatic ways. Thank you for being a builder upper. 🙂

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