The Contract

I am looking for the contract I signed.  The one that said I would be perfect, faultless and in control at all times.

If anyone has seen it please forward it to me.

Along with, what I am sure, is a pretty hefty paycheck to go along with it.

(Disclaimer:  I do not recall signing it.  But if it exists I best start honoring it.  Though I have some trepidation about this and have no idea what could have coerced me in to signing it to begin with.)

(Disclaimer:  I’m fine if no one can find this contract.  I’m pretty sure I’d be in breach of this contract.  And I wouldn’t have a leg to stand on to dispute it.)

(Disclaimer:  On second thought.  Please don’t look for my contract.   And….I won’t look for yours either.  Deal?  We can sign a contract to that effect?)