Fighting The Dream

I was asleep.  I was dreaming.  And I was fighting both.

In my dream someone came in to my office and demanded, yelled, wanting to know if I knew anything about ‘this’.   And with that he threw three files, lying layered upon one another, on to the floor.  He didn’t hand them to me.  He slammed them on to the floor in his righteous contempt and disgust.

My first comment was ‘well maybe if I read it I can tell you about it’.   And the files were in my hand but I had not bent down to pick them up.

I knew the situation.  And I didn’t feel I needed to explain anything to him.

And

Then

I

Got

Pissed.

In my dream.   Then something kicked in and made me want to wake up.  I was fighting the dream.  I was fighting to wake up I was so incredibly angry.

I finally woke up and it felt like I had to break through and when I did wake up that is exactly the feeling I had.  Like I had burst right out of that dream.

It was one of those nights.  I told myself that first, it was a dream, and second, he had no right to question what had or had not happened as he had no role in it.

Go back to sleep.

And I went back to the dream.

It felt like half the night was spent falling back in to that dream.  And the other half trying to fight my way out of it.

And the angrier I got, the more it became about the files thrown on the floor.

And after the initial time I had found them in my hands, every time I fell back asleep after that, the files remained there and I was not about to pick them up.

So morning breaks.

And so did that dream’s relentless grip on my sleep.

But not on my conscious and determination to figure out what the heck it was all about.

I have tried and tried to come up with some in depth meaning to what my subconscious is trying to tell me. What was the point of the man coming in to office.  Was it about confrontation?  Was it about self doubts or concern regarding my job performance?  Was it all about my conflicts regarding defining existentialism?

It really comes down to this.

Do not ever come in to my office, throw a stack of three files down on the floor and think I will pick them up.

It will not happen.

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39 thoughts on “Fighting The Dream

  1. Why throw the files to the floor? Why not hand them to you? This person clearly has no respect for you. I would not pick up those files either – – Certainly not to read them but perhaps to toss them in the trash while looking him straight in the face! Bullying takes all forms… Stand your ground!

  2. Frederick says:

    Maybe it’s a premonition that you are about to be rudely informed of something you were never aware of. Then as you dream on, and the files stopped appearing in your hand, maybe it is warning you that you are becoming reluctant to believe or accept the new information. Just a wild suggestion.

  3. Jim McKeever says:

    Years of job stress, coming home to roost?

  4. April says:

    I have dreams that will ‘bug’ me and I won’t discover what my subconscious was working through. Maybe you work with some not-so-nice coworkers?

  5. jmgoyder says:

    This is powerful and so relevant to me with my loss-of-job situation recently. My dreams bleed into reality and I am not sure what has really happened and what I dreamed which make me feel a bit crazy! Thank you for you insight.

    • Right? It bothered me quite a bit and I kept going back to the files on the floor. I’ve decided to not stress over it, I laughed when I realized the simplicity of my anger and decided to let it be – at that. As soon as I laughed about that, the thought of the dream stopped bothering me.

  6. I think the dream was telling you that if anyone throws files on your floor you will not pick them up. LOL! I wouldn’t either!

  7. Throwing the files on the floor sure feels like this ‘person’ is not only thrashing them, but also you. Throwing them on your desk would be bad enough but on the floor?

    Can’t imagine what this dream is about. I haven’t dreamed in ages, not that I can recall. What a horrible night to keep waking and slipping back into the same dream. 😦

  8. Good dream to wake up from and good conclusion on your part. Nice and simple. 🙂

  9. niaaeryn says:

    I understand the feeling. Angry dreaming makes it harder to let go and sleep again. I like the interpretation you went with. 🙂 It is plain rude to throw files on the floor…silly guy, being rude in the dream world. Sounds like he needs an ice cream cone and a sit down.

  10. reocochran says:

    I will hope no one would dare to do this and would be so upset if they did this to you, Colleen! They better not throw files on the floor or anywhere to show disrespect to my good friend, Colleen. I will ‘fight’ them for you! Smiles!

    • Ahhhh Robin, thank you for the support! 🙂 Isn’t it funny what our brains do to us? It got me worked up over something so ridiculous (the dream it’s self). But if it had deeper meaning, it allowed me to dismiss it by assigning it a simple and easy to dismiss reason.

      • reocochran says:

        Colleen, I knew it was a dream but my fighting would have to happen in a dream or nightmare, since I simply don’t like to ‘fight!’ For you, I would (or kids or grandies…smiles!)
        You got rid of the ‘angst’ and this may help it to remain dismissed. Unfortunately, it may creep back up on you. I hate those things which are in our subconscious mind.

  11. markbialczak says:

    Oh, the territorial dream, MBC.

  12. Robin says:

    The dreamscape is such a strange place, isn’t it? Even stranger when we bring it out with us in the form of anger or sadness.

    I wouldn’t pick up the files either. How rude!

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