The worst thing that ever happened to me
Didn’t happen to me.
It happens to someone else.
Who I love.
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The Chatter Blog
Living: All Day Every Day: Then Chattering About It
The worst thing that ever happened to me
Didn’t happen to me.
It happens to someone else.
Who I love.
So sorry for this person’s bad event, Colleen.
Sympathetic to you for being so close, loving this person and probably wishing you could take it away or help somehow. . .
I echo what you said reocochran. Hugs to you Colleen. ❤
Diana xo
Thank you Diana. All is well. This is/was a reflection of love, and pain, and “what” hurts most in life.
Robin you are so kind. This is actually not about a specific event. It’s a thought I had while thinking about “others” in my life. A reflection on the pains in our lives and that it is never a personal pain that hurts the most, but the pains others who we love go through, that we feel the most. And even remember more than our own pains.
And you are absolutely right, don’t we wish we could take those pains away???? It’s easier to suffer pain, than to watch others suffer it.
Thank you Robin.
It’s all about empathy, and for the life of me I cannot understand how some people just don’t have any. It’s such a simple, basic human emotion … Yes, it hurts to hurt for others, especially those we love. It’s supposed to. Thank you, Colleen.
I have come across a few who are incapable of empathy. It’s as difficult to see that as it is to see the suffering. A different kind of difficult, but difficult.
You’re welcome Jim.
Yes, it’s often most difficult for those of us who have to stand by and watch others suffer. I’m sorry for your troubles.
My world is full of compassion Marissa. Thank you. This was a reflection on some thoughts and memories, not a specific or current event. It’s that thought, that standing by and watching others, is more difficult than bearing our own pains that prompted this. Though I don’t even know ‘what’ prompted that thought. It was just ‘there’ in my head.
It did occur to me that this might not necessarily be about a specific incident and I’m actually glad for that…just in that I know it’s not recent and raw for you. There is a book I read called “We Need To Talk About Kevin” by Lionel Shriver that this post instantly reminded me of. It’s a great book but terribly sad and dark (and very long too, but completely engaging!!). Because the subject matter is so sad, I will spare you the details, but if you’re interested, I definitely recommend it. It’s sad but absolutely, completely unforgettable. No pressure though!!
🙂 I ordered it yesterday when I read this comment on my phone. I’m prepared for some heart aches…..
Oh wow! You must tell me what you think!!
I just started it. Oh my. It’s not easy all ready. But I want to read more!!!!
I know, very sad but very captivating. Possibly one of the best I ever read!
I’ve started. I am not finding ‘her’ very likable. I’m not far in to it but wishing to be further! I hope we hear from Franklin. So far what I’m reading is not implying he has responded.
Is Franklin the husband? Sorry but it’s been a long time since I read it.
Yes, the husband. And wow. I’m torn between feeling sorry for her and wanting to bop her over the head!
I could say something here but I don’t want to spoil anything.
I can only read in 10 and 20 minute increments. I’m more than a 1/3 through….. I’m thinking the husband is dead. If he is, I hope it wasn’t because of the kid. I’m just guessing. I don’t want to know yet either. I’ll let it unfold. But you’re right….this is a good read!
Okay, you are just leaving me too open to spoiler alerts. My lips are sealed.
I am getting frustrated at the lack of time to read this!!!! Slowly moving through. And NOT liking any of these people at this point in the book!!!
I’m sorry! I feel responsible. Well, if you don’t finish it, I won’t be upset although I do feel bad for suggesting it. Is the sister born yet?
Oh no no no Marissa! I am very glad you recommended this. What I meant was I don’t have ENOUGH time to read it because all I want to do is read it!!!! I can’t wait to finish it!!!
This morning I got to the point where she is just born. I’ve been nuts waiting to get back to it! I may stay up until 1 or 2 just so I can read some more!!!
If nothing else, I think, you will like the daughter but I also find it hard to believe that your feelings towards the characters won’t shift, if not change. I’m glad you’re enjoying it. Sometimes disliking the characters is not a deal breaker I guess.
Not a deal breaker at all. I just finished it. I’m glad I had prepared myself for this. I loved the little girl. The mom and dad….so much about them I didn’t care for. So very much. But so much I did understand. She developed the character of that boy in such a way I thought…it IS possible to not like a small child. Which chilled me.
Thank you for this recommendation. Any more????? We could so easily eat up awholelotta time discussing this!
Wow, you finished it?? Well, you must have certainly had some time to race through it. So, to tell you the truth, I had sympathy with the mother the whole way, and I totally get why you didn’t. I just always wonder about how I would feel if I had a child who had some sort of disability, because I really think that’s the best way to describe the kid, and I have to say, unconditional love would not necessarily be a given…though I can’t say it wouldn’t be either. I just would consider all scenarios. But yes, loved the little girl and my heart broke for her, broke for all of them really. But she (the mother) did love her son.
As for other books, I read so many and just finished two that I really loved. I think you might enjoy one of them particularly, ‘Painted Girls’ by Cathy Marie Buchanan. “Hausfrau” by Jill Alexander Essbaum, I also loved but have to warn you that parts of it are pretty dirty, but the story, I thought held it’s own.
Okay I’ll check out Painted Girls, I may have heard of Hausfrau.
I really ‘liked’ this book. Though ‘liked’ sounds wrong to say. I believe people like her exist. I can’t image being in that situation (can I simplify what that book was about by calling it ‘situation’?) and continuing to try and reach her son. Though she did seem to understand him, long before anyone else did. And certainly more so than his father did. Horrific story for sure. I’m glad I read it.
Oh, well I’m glad you’re glad you read it. Yes, it’s just, I can’t imagine what I would be like, or what anything would be like if I was in a situation anything like this. I was kind of with her all the way, like this could be my mind frame, but who knows. Anyway, it’s funny, but to me, I always see the protagonist as a hero, no matter what they do. I’m not saying you should, but if you ever decide to read ‘Hausfrau’ this was one where that became something I really had to think about at the end of the book.
I’m intrigued by the Hausfrau. I think we’ll hit up a book store this weekend….
I found myself understanding her. And feeling the frustration and fear. But there would always be something she admitted to that stopped me and made me shake my head. But I always sympathized with her when she felt so powerless in regards to her son. I can’t imagine either, what that would be like. I think the author did an amazing job.
Yes, it was very well written if nothing else. Well, let me know what you end up with and feel free to pass on recommendations here as well.
I am soo sorry, Colleen. I cannot imagine, all I can say is echoing the others, :hugs:
Niaaeryn, thank you so much. I’m okay. This was a reflection, not an incident. I am so lucky to know, though, that there is such support and compassion out here. You and the others are so kind to me.
As you are to me, and I appreciate your kindness and compassion. Good to hear you are okay.
I’m so sorry Colleen. I would always rather it happened to me than have something bad happen to someone I love, or even happen to someone I know. Is there someone you can talkl with?
Hi Angie. Everything is absolutely okay. I was reflecting and thinking. This is not about any “thing” but a thought that came from my contemplations of love, etc. And you’re right, having some ‘thing’ happen to me is easier to handle than it happening to others. Thank you for caring Angie.
You’re heart is made of gold. I’m a better person for knowing you. This blog reminds me to get my eyes off of self and look up. God’s love shines through you. I’m blessed and humbled to call you friend. ❤️ You.
Renee, thank you! ❤ How do I respond to this? I don't have words to adequately express how I felt when I read this. Thank you my friend, thank you, for the value you put in my life-in many ways.
Love you bunches.
Love you bunches back. 🙂
I understand that feeling. It is harder to watch someone we love and care about going through something horrible than for us to go through something horrible. You are a very sensitive (in a good way) person. That makes you very special! ((Hugs)) ~Peace & Love
Thanks Priceless, what a beautiful thing for you to say.
And when people hurt, it’s so difficult to ‘see’ and be helpless in stopping it.
Yes, very true, Colleen. 🙂
and don’t we wish we could take on the pain for them sometimes ?
Yes, so very much.
Which, when you love someone, is almost as bad because you can’t always fix what’s wrong or help enough.
And it’s a whole different kind of pain we then suffer.
Those are the real heartbreakers.
There’s sadness, and wonderfulness, that we all understand this. That our empathy and sympathy are strong.
I am so, so sorry your friend had to endure it…and that you also did.
This was more of a reflection and thought than about any one particular event Koji. But thank you.
It’s so difficult to see those we love in pain. I’m sorry that they had to go through this. Sometimes all we can do is just be there, by their side.
As I get older I realize that sometimes that being there is doing something. Though it’s not the “action” we wish to be able to do….it’s the very thing we often need.
That’s right. When my step-father of 23 years passed away a couple of years ago, nothing no one could have said could have it better. The only thing that helped was just them being there, without a word being said.
I totally understand that now.
It is much harder to watch another struggle than to struggle ourselves. I get you, and if it were a child of ours…
That’s the most difficult Tric.
How true can that be.
Sad huh?
It is
😦
Wow, how I understand this.
Rough stuff huh MBM.