And I’m very sad.
Sad for him. Sad for us.
Not because he’s gay.
But that he is the age he is and is just starting his life ‘free’.
I’m sad that for all of the hours we had sat and talked about so many different things, we never talked about that/this.
I’m sad that the world wouldn’t accept him.
I’m sad that he felt confined. His physical existence imprisoning his thoughts, emotions and feelings. He kept them walled in. To protect himself. And possibly others. The only place he could exist safely was within his mind. That doesn’t just make me sad, it breaks my heart.
I’m sad that he felt who he was, was wrong.
I’m sad that as close as we were at one time we missed the chance to help each other. Him to teach me and me to let him know that who he was – was perfect for me.
I’m sad that there was/is/was (?) a belief that this is a “life style choice”. I know I did not choose to be heterosexual. I just am. If I had a choice, I know I would not choose to be gay. I know it’s silly to think I could make that choice. I wouldn’t be able to pull it off. Because it is not natural to me. So I’m sad that people can’t/couldn’t accept that there is no choosing. For everyone who think’s it’s a choice, let them try to contemplate being something they are not, and how to make that work for them.
I’m sad that a good man felt he wasn’t ‘right’.
I’m sad that he feels because he made choices to protect others and try to be ‘right’ he caused pain to the very people he did not want to hurt.
I’m sad that he had to live a lie and deny who he is.
I’m sad that something so innocent is seen as something so bad to so many.
I’m sad about all of the pain.
He’s not sad.
And for that, I am very grateful.