When You Don’t Know Your Own Pain

I’ve seen many people with many different types of dementia.   And no one is exactly the same on how it effects them.

I have yet to see a ‘good’ type of dementia.

Today I heard a new reference to dementia that made my heart hurt anew.

This gentleman has been robbed of almost everything because of dementia.  But for one thing.   He knows he hurts because something is missing.

Someone told me:

He doesn’t know what he’s upset about.  But he knows he’s upset about something.  He’s had a huge change.   He can feel it.  He knows it.  And he can’t define it.  He doesn’t know what’s lost.  But he hurts and doesn’t know why.

I can’t imagine the suffering.  The not being able to define it.  To feel horrible and not understand why.   He’s in a situation where everyone around him knows, understands, and wants to – but can’t explain it to him.  Explain it so he can process it and try to heal and acclimate to a new life, a new place.   No one can explain through the horribleness of dementia that he is no longer home and no longer with his spouse of sixty years.

We know why he hurts.

But he doesn’t.

He just hurts.

Dementia took everything away but his ability to hurt.

That is a wickedness that needs to be stopped.