I can understand that it would be because you always want to look good in your father’s eyes. Being responsible is a good thing to be until it becomes a weight on your shoulders. It can get very heavy!
I’m sure there is a balance. Being responsible, and learning when it isn’t something you always have to be responsible for. I suppose, like all else, it’s finding that balance.
For sure – I find that setting aside the usual motivations (i.e.e I always do it that way,or I am 100% reliable) sometimes allows for better decision making – do I really want to do that? to exert that much effort for that return? And sometimes it underlines how important your actions are when you stand back and look at what would happen if you did not do what you feel you should.
Amen to that Marissa. It took decades for me to realize that. I took it as he meant it, a compliment, a part of my character. But not letting go of some of that is my doing, not his. š
What a great compliment for a dad to tell a child! Perhaps you were born to be responsible and your dad merely stated what he saw. Perhaps there is nothing to put down because being responsible is as much a part of, and important to, you as breathing. If true, you’ll only put it down at the the end of what I hope is a long and joyful life. I believe that while being responsible can at times be a burden, being irresponsible is a burden not only to oneself but to those around them.
Thank you Russ, it was something that dad just recognized and pointed out to me. It’s my holding on to it that may be the issue. I love being responsible, love being appreciated for that, but do need to know the balance. I agree about being irresponsible, that, is not an option.
Sometimes irresponsibility IS the right answer Colleen. I know you and many others would struggle with that but it is true. As a classic example how about The Bridge Over the River Kwai? Lieutenant Colonel Nicholson (Alec Guinness) helps the Japanese build the best bridge he possibly can , as a prisoner of war, even though he knows that the bridge will aid the Japanese war effort and end up being the death of many of British troops.
Well Paul, you make an incredible point. And I happen to agree with you (before I even read the example!) I think there are times when pushed with responsibility we are not doing anyone any favors. Or, we do what is expected instead of taking that chance, or following that dream, or existing differently.
I understand that all too well. Responsibility is great and should be valued, but I missed out on a great deal of my childhood because of how responsible I felt for everything and everyone. I kind of wish I wouldn’t have developed that until I was older.
I get that completely MWAI. I wonder if that is why now, at this age, I am freeing myself to do things I am interested in. š So I can find out what I want to do when I grow up!!! š
Thank you Diana. ⤠He meant it as a wonderful compliment for sure. And that's how I took it. If I ever feel it a burden or cross to bear….that's on me, not his wonderful compliment. š
It is hard too, very true. Hang in there. Your dad saw you so well, it is both a burden and compliment. Meantime :hugs: as a means of help as you continue on. As my students would say, you got this. š
THank you Nia. There it is, burden AND a compliment. I am secure in knowing it was a complete compliment. I can’t imagine living without this level of responsibility. But I do imagine….letting go once in awhile.
Agreed, it was a complete compliment.
I think we all do imagine that now and then, letting go. We are human after all. I know I fantasize about it from time to time.
My family felt I was the oldest so there were higher expectations of me. I felt honored but when I stepped down from the pedestal, my son, my brothers and friends stepped up and allowed me to be “free,” Colleen. It was quite invigorating.
I was the oldest girl but there were a few boys older than me. But plenty of them coming up behind us too. We all had our hands full with responsibility. Well….maybe not that last little one who was a wee bit spoiled. š
I’m turning off comments when I get behind or know I will not have the time to get to them. I feel bad if people leave comments and I can’t respond. I’d rather turn off the comments and just let folks enjoy them. š
Your usual food for thought, always saying so much in such few words.
Relatable to me as so often your poetry is. My mantra of late is ‘No one is going to take care of me for me.’ It is hard to step back from a selfless nature.
Obviously, I’m putting my own personal spin on your poem…silly me!
It is a good trait for sure and yes not easy to let go of that!
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it sure is a good trait. But wow, can it be a cursed blessing. š
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Yes I agree!
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I can understand that it would be because you always want to look good in your father’s eyes. Being responsible is a good thing to be until it becomes a weight on your shoulders. It can get very heavy!
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I’m sure there is a balance. Being responsible, and learning when it isn’t something you always have to be responsible for. I suppose, like all else, it’s finding that balance.
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For sure – I find that setting aside the usual motivations (i.e.e I always do it that way,or I am 100% reliable) sometimes allows for better decision making – do I really want to do that? to exert that much effort for that return? And sometimes it underlines how important your actions are when you stand back and look at what would happen if you did not do what you feel you should.
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I wish I had you on speed dial when I come across conundrums regarding responsibility and a need for discussion. š
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We need to talk!
Why the red ear?
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Okay!
But we’ll have to have a code word so I know who it is that wants to talk to me! š
It’s not a red ear. It’s red face, from straining, holding on.
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That’s great but can also be quite a cross to bear!
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I was thinking that too Marissa!
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Me three!
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Amen to that Marissa. It took decades for me to realize that. I took it as he meant it, a compliment, a part of my character. But not letting go of some of that is my doing, not his. š
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What a great compliment for a dad to tell a child! Perhaps you were born to be responsible and your dad merely stated what he saw. Perhaps there is nothing to put down because being responsible is as much a part of, and important to, you as breathing. If true, you’ll only put it down at the the end of what I hope is a long and joyful life. I believe that while being responsible can at times be a burden, being irresponsible is a burden not only to oneself but to those around them.
LikeLike
Thank you Russ, it was something that dad just recognized and pointed out to me. It’s my holding on to it that may be the issue. I love being responsible, love being appreciated for that, but do need to know the balance. I agree about being irresponsible, that, is not an option.
LikeLike
Sometimes irresponsibility IS the right answer Colleen. I know you and many others would struggle with that but it is true. As a classic example how about The Bridge Over the River Kwai? Lieutenant Colonel Nicholson (Alec Guinness) helps the Japanese build the best bridge he possibly can , as a prisoner of war, even though he knows that the bridge will aid the Japanese war effort and end up being the death of many of British troops.
LikeLike
Well Paul, you make an incredible point. And I happen to agree with you (before I even read the example!) I think there are times when pushed with responsibility we are not doing anyone any favors. Or, we do what is expected instead of taking that chance, or following that dream, or existing differently.
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Your dad loved you!!! That’s such a wonderful thing for a father to say to his child. ā¤
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⤠I have carried it as a compliment my entire life.
What "I'VE" done with it is possibly what I need to adjust a little bit. š
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Your dad was a smart man. ⤠⤠⤠He knew you well.
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He did like to brag about us kids. Whether we deserved it or not. š ā¤
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I understand that all too well. Responsibility is great and should be valued, but I missed out on a great deal of my childhood because of how responsible I felt for everything and everyone. I kind of wish I wouldn’t have developed that until I was older.
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I get that completely MWAI. I wonder if that is why now, at this age, I am freeing myself to do things I am interested in. š So I can find out what I want to do when I grow up!!! š
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I understand about it being hard to put down what one’s dad says Colleen. I love how you love your dad. ā¤
Diana xo
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Thank you Diana. ⤠He meant it as a wonderful compliment for sure. And that's how I took it. If I ever feel it a burden or cross to bear….that's on me, not his wonderful compliment. š
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Someone’s words will always run through our minds even when we don’t want to hear them–I understand.
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I love hearing his words, it’s my interpretation and/or application that sometimes catches me. I think.
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I know what you mean.
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It is hard too, very true. Hang in there. Your dad saw you so well, it is both a burden and compliment. Meantime :hugs: as a means of help as you continue on. As my students would say, you got this. š
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THank you Nia. There it is, burden AND a compliment. I am secure in knowing it was a complete compliment. I can’t imagine living without this level of responsibility. But I do imagine….letting go once in awhile.
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Agreed, it was a complete compliment.
I think we all do imagine that now and then, letting go. We are human after all. I know I fantasize about it from time to time.
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My family felt I was the oldest so there were higher expectations of me. I felt honored but when I stepped down from the pedestal, my son, my brothers and friends stepped up and allowed me to be “free,” Colleen. It was quite invigorating.
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I was the oldest girl but there were a few boys older than me. But plenty of them coming up behind us too. We all had our hands full with responsibility. Well….maybe not that last little one who was a wee bit spoiled. š
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I think dependability is underrated. š
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š This from Mr. Responsibility himself. š
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Aww… You complimented Po!
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Awwwww…….I would have if I wasn’t complimenting you. š
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ps Why aren’t comment boxes showing up on some of your posts?
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I’m turning off comments when I get behind or know I will not have the time to get to them. I feel bad if people leave comments and I can’t respond. I’d rather turn off the comments and just let folks enjoy them. š
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Your usual food for thought, always saying so much in such few words.
Relatable to me as so often your poetry is. My mantra of late is ‘No one is going to take care of me for me.’ It is hard to step back from a selfless nature.
Obviously, I’m putting my own personal spin on your poem…silly me!
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