Her Softly Aged Cheeks

She sat in front of me, crying.

Every fiber in me said to hug her.   Even though I am the one who is not comfortable with hugging I recognize the benefits of compassion and comfort in touch, in hugs.   I knew the benefits of a hug would do her good.

But,  she would not have welcomed a hug.

Just the benefit of the hug.

I’m not a hugger.

She was not a hug-ee.

We were at an impasse.

I watched as her eyes welled up.  Flowed over.  Her hands, nervously twisting her glasses as they lay on the table in front of her.  The tears on her softly aged cheeks made that moment freeze.  And last longer than I wanted her to bear.

I need her to feel….hugged.

So I used words.

I surrounded her with words of safety, support and protection.  Hugged.  Without touch.  But with directness, eye contact, and gentleness.

She accepted them.

I felt relief when I saw the benefits show in her eyes.  Her hands calmed.  Her cheeks swelled out the wrinkles with a smile.

I felt…. hugged.

I’m not an expert on hugs.   But I know that compassion and comfort should leave everyone involved feeling the benefits as if they were hugged.

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31 thoughts on “Her Softly Aged Cheeks

  1. I’m sure you are a great mental hugger. Good for you both Colleen!


  2. reocochran says:

    This was such a memorable and meaningful message, Colleen. If you feel you cannot hug, use soothing and calming words to help the person needing comfort, “feel hugged.”


  3. I get the message and agree, Colleen, though I would have guessed you a non-physical hugger.


    • 🙂 I hug those close to me. Spouse, kids, grands, a friend or two. But in general, I’m not a random, willy, nilly hugger. 🙂 Unless it’s with words. I sometimes tell people “consider yourself hugged”. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Paul says:

    I’m with Eric – I would have felt comfortable saying that you could give a great mental hug Colleen.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Paul. After having some indepth talks or comments, like I told Eric, I often tell people “consider yourself hugged”. It’s how I roll Paul.

      And Snoopy gets it. 🙂


  5. You did hug her! Mentally and emotionally! That’s awesome, Colleen!


  6. Val Boyko says:

    Sometimes we can transcend the physical and feel the outpouring of love. When we let down the inner barriers we allow the souls to connect. 💕


  7. Anonymous says:

    Beautiful images. Thank you “for the hug”.


  8. Your compassion communicates in so many ways and the best hug for non-hugger is the recognition and intuitive sense to let it be. You gave or your time and heart. That’s the best, honoring you and her! ❤


  9. April says:

    Sometimes words are more powerful than we imagine.


  10. russtowne says:

    Thank you for reminding me that there are multiple ways to give hugs, and that while all of them involve touching (one’s heart and spirit) not all hugs involve physical contact.


  11. ksbeth says:

    you offered her the kind of hug that you both were comfortable with and it made all the difference in the world.


  12. Excellent that you knew what to do (say) in that situation. Well done. I just love that you’re in a position to be helping people. It makes me happy that you’re so good at what you do, especially because it’s so needed.


  13. niaaeryn says:

    That sounds like the best kind of hig. *smiles


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