49

If I go about my day.

And randomly stop.

And try to imagine that 49 people right next to me would be shot and killed.

I cannot imagine it.

My brain won’t allow me to look at my family, friends, coworkers-and imagine something so ……unimaginable.

If I go about my day.

And randomly stop.

And try to imagine the impact of the 49 people standing closest to me have on this world.

I cannot imagine it.  The ripples?  How far reaching do all of these lives reach.   How many people think of them, depend on them, laugh with them, cry with them, pray with them, eat meals with them, make plans for life with them.  How many life moments exist that I have no way of even trying to encapsulate….

My brain isn’t capable of accepting that these ripples……just stop.

If I go about my day.

And randomly stop.

And try to imagine the birth of the 49 people standing closest to me.

I can picture the beginning.  The excitement of life.  49 beginnings.   Love brought them into this world.  Love created them.  49 little babies.   Loved and nurtured by their world.  I can see so many different stories standing there in 49 different shapes.

If I go about my day.

And randomly stop.

I will find myself, sadly, counting the number of people around me.

Thinking of 49.