I Was “That” Mom

When my kids were babies they were spot on perfect.

They woke up smiling.

They laughed with me.   They loved me reading and singing to them.   They looked forward to me praying for them at bedtime.  They loved the food I made.   They loved me.

Then they turned into teenagers.


There is no preparing you for that.  Even having gone through being a teenager is not a practice run for being the mom of teenagers.

As typical as they were as teenagers, I was clueless.   I didn’t drink.  I didn’t push boundaries.   I didn’t ‘do’ the teenage years.  Quite honestly I just expected my kids to be like me.  In some way.  In one way I hoped they would be like me.  In any way I hoped they would be like me.

When my oldest was in high school there was a weekend when I was away.  They were supposed to be with their father.  We were divorced.  For whatever reason, he sent them to my place.  Unsupervised.  The required, obligatory – my parents are gone for the night party – was a no brainer.

Only I had no idea they were there.

You know what gave them away when I got home?

The toilet paper.

In my bathroom.   The toilet paper was on the roll hanger, with the paper coming out from under the roll, instead of the top.

I had been hanging toilet paper in my own home for more years than they were alive.  Never.  Ever.  Did I hang it that way.

I went through the house.  It was spotless.  Too clean.  Not too clean if I had cleaned it.  But too clean for them to have cleaned it.

I looked out the back door.  One empty plastic bag lie there.  I went out and picked it up.   An ice bag.  I never buy ice.

I went through the entire house.

Downstairs all of my martial arts certificates hung neatly on the wall.  Right where they should be.  One looked different than the others.   I stepped closer to look.  The glass of the picture frame was gone.

Teenager busted.

I got the names of the kids at the party.  Not from my daughter.  I had other ways.

I called the other parents.  I managed to get hold of all but one.

Some didn’t care.  Some listened.   One seemed to be upset-with me.

My kids pretty much hated me at that moment.

I pretty much understood.

But I was still that mom.

I love my kids enough to let them hate me.

59 thoughts on “I Was “That” Mom

  1. Kids need to know you’re the parent and not the superior best buddy. I thinks there’s a bit of respect lost when we try to be buddies with our kids. I’m not saying we can’t have a close, tightly bonded relationship, but they need to know there’s a line. Parents need to know that line too.

    I think you did great!

    I’ve still got one left. Shes 4 going on 15. I often wonder what kind of teenager she’ll be. But for now I’m just trying to make it with her to age 5.


    • Thank you A@. My daughter used to plead “can’t we be friends????” and I always told her no. Anyone can be your friend. I’m the only one who can be your mom. Made her mad every time. She eventually got over that. 😉

      Good luck! you can do it!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thanks. I love the response to your daughter. I use a version of that with my 4yr old whenever her mouth gets a bit spicy. Keeping them in check from early on makes the job easier when they’re older.

        Hope your week is off to a great start. Hugs 🌷


        • It is going wonderfully, I hope yours is too.

          ANd the kids…..they never quite understood why I wasn’t their “friend”. But having wee ones of their own now, they are going to learn…. 😉

          Liked by 1 person

          • My week is progressing nicely, thx.
            Yes, you’re right, being a parent helps clear up many misconceptions we had as kids. Best wishes to you all. ☺

            Liked by 1 person

  2. You have excellent detecting skills! I learned more about my kids’ parties years after they were adults! Apparently I was entirely too trusting and a fairly lousy detective! LOL!


    • I was too trusting, but had the skills to find out when I was faced with it. And I wasn’t even looking Debra. They could never figure out how I found things out. 🙂 And I never told. 😉


  3. We all go through this, it’s just that some of us care more than others. You will find that they will wind up doing the same thing with their children. Believe it or not you are making memoires that will keep you smiling down the road. They will remember……


  4. Good detective work there. Teens are tricky, but as someone who works with them I am glad you are “that” mom. It makes a difference.


  5. I was “that” mom too…I had 5 in 7 years so they became teenagers all at the same time…I dont think I ever got out of the teenager years….but all that hate paid off – they are all grown up responsible adults – with children of their own – going through their own teenager years….haha


  6. I think as parents, you have to pay attention to everything. I don’t think mentioning immediately everything that is noted should be done, those pieces of information should be stored in the “parent armory” and used at a later date. It baffles the kids to realize that we are really much more clever than they give us credit for being.


  7. I’m on the other side of the picture. I am seventeen and completely understand were both sides are coming from. 🙂 My mom is also “that” mom, that’s funny.
    I am new to this blog world, mind checking out some of my posts and telling me your opinion. I will great appreciate it!

    Liked by 1 person

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