I Can Tell You One Thing, He Said

“I can tell you one thing” he said softly and pleasantly, pulling me in to his statement.

“What’s that?”   I answer him with a question.

“I’m hungry!”

“You are?  What would you like to eat?”

“Oh, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, chocolate cake and a cup of coffee.”

“That does sound good doesn’t it?”

“It sure does.”

“When was the last time you ate?”

“Oh it’s been a while”

OR

“I don’t really recall.”

OR

“Yesterday I think.”

The end of this conversation always changed a little bit.  Because he couldn’t remember when he last ate.  And there was no one there to tell us when he last ate.  Because his family thought keeping him in his little room with no TV, no radio, and little human contact was good enough.  Apparently.  They sure didn’t want to see him in a nursing home.

I asked him again when he last ate.  He said he and his brothers walked down the street earlier in the day to get something to eat.  I don’t know how many years it’s been since he walked.  And I’m not sure his brothers are still alive.   To him they might be, in his memories.  At least for that brief moment it felt to him like he had spent time with his brothers that morning going to get something to eat.   I hope it felt as good for him to think it, as I think it would feel for him to have actually got to do it.   I hope while he laid in that room all alone for the majority of his days that he spent time with his mom, his wife, and his brothers.    None of whom I could see.   But he could.   It seems his memories are kinder to him than his family is.  The family that can get up and go get what ever they want to eat.  Get up and go to the bathroom, without the results lying under them, on them.  The family who leaves him every day for hours, and hours, and hours.

Family. Some people do not deserve that term.  I’ve seen people struggle to do their best to take care of their own.  Burdens are heavy and they only have so much time, so much energy, and they do the very best with it that they can.   This, as I looked at this man, and knew the whole story, was not such a struggle.

He couldn’t tell us what year it was.  Or what day.  Or where he was.  But he could laugh.  And he could joke with us.  He was pleasant.  More pleasant than an emaciated 93 year old man should be.  He was adorable with his great big eyes looking at us with total trust.  And no understanding.  When we asked him if he would go to the hospital he said “right now?”   I said “sure if you’ll go”.

His response “okay then”.

At the hospital he had about 6 of us talking to him, treating him with kindness, giving him comfort.  He said to me “I can tell you one thing” and I said “what’s that?”  and he said “I’m hungry!”   We wanted the nurses to let him eat NOW.  But they couldn’t, not quite yet.  They needed to test his heart and test everything else about his frailness that looked so painful to me.  So I again asked him what he would like.   “Coffee would be nice.”   I asked him how he would drink his coffee.  “With cream.  And sugar.  Not too much sugar, just enough to make it sweet.”   I told him that sounds good.  He said it sure does.  About three minutes later the doctor came in and asked doctor questions.   He said again  “I can tell you one thing”.   “What’s that”  I asked.   “I sure am hungry”.    I asked him what he would like to eat.  He said “oatmeal” and turned to the doctor and said “do you have oatmeal?”   The doctor said he thought so.  But he was busy with doctor stuff so I talked to him about oatmeal.

I watched as they put patches on his chest.   Hooked up the blood pressure cuff.  Checked his oxygen levels.  I looked at his face and he was just looking out from his memories.  I hope.  He didn’t say or do anything.  Why was this man with six other people around him, alone?

I asked him if he was tired.  He said he might be.  I asked him to lay his head back and close his eyes.  Rest.   And he did.  Just because I asked him to.  He was tired.   He was hungry.   But he was getting warm under the warming blankets.  He was being watched over.  Talked to and listened to.  He was safe.

And I can tell you one thing, some people are going straight to hell.

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,

34 thoughts on “I Can Tell You One Thing, He Said

  1. How sad! He sounds like a wonderful man! How sad that his family wouldn’t take care of him yet wouldn’t let him go to a nursing home. I sure hope he got his oatmeal soon after that!

  2. ksbeth says:

    thank you for being there for him. sometimes family is not what’s best –

  3. Anonymous says:

    I weep to think that someone’s so called family would let this happen to this poor man. Someone’s father, son, brother, uncle. I hope whoever did this to him has someone to care for them in their final days… Not!

  4. Heartbreaking. And no doubt, this is not an isolated case of neglect. No one deserves to come to the end of his life and face this. Thanks for sharing. It’s a wake up call. 💘

  5. Bless you and your staff for the kindness, I am sure you made him feel safe.
    I hope he was fed and got his coffee and I am sure his future in the hospital will be a better place than with his relatives. It pains me to think how much he did for them during his younger years.

    There is a quote; “Parents can take care of ten children but ten children can not take care of one parent.” This was a perfect example.

    I thank the good Lord my children are wonderful to us. :o)

    • Thank you for this comment. That quote sure does put it in perspective. I appreciate your sharing it. And I’m thankful to know there are children like yours out there! 🙂

  6. So sad and I’m afraid more prevalent that I’d like to think. Thank you for this.

  7. Oh yes, well this is a common story, I’m afraid. That man is lucky to have people like you.

  8. russtowne says:

    Thank you for rescuing this man, for your kindness, and for touching my heart with this post, Colleen.

  9. So sad, family should stick by, it is an honor not a burden.

  10. Oh, the heartbreak. But a sad reality these days. What is wrong with some people!?

  11. Jim McKeever says:

    A society is judged by how well it takes care of its most vulnerable. We’re not doing so well.

  12. Paul says:

    I cried when I read this Colleen – such innocence and faith so abused. There are days when I really hope there is a hell other than here on this earth.

    My Lord, this is your job? Wow. That is so hard emotionally investigating the abuses of the elderly and vulnerable. My greatest admiration and prayers go out to you for your work in helping those who most need it.

    • Thank you Paul, for that emotion. It was a hard one.

      This was my job. After almost 15 years, I recently changed. I’m still connected in a different kind of way. But the work that goes into that field is amazing. Sad though, that there is that field of work.

  13. Goodness… Again, God bless you for all that you do.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: