It took me awhile to recognize this.
But that’s the truth of it.
I’m fearful of not being heard.
I’m fearful of being misunderstood.
I’m fearful of not counting.
I’m fearful that the one thing I need to do more than anything, I will fail at doing. And that is protecting those who I brought into this world. And I exposed them to everything that there is to be scared of.
I’m fearful that when I appear angry, I am causing fear.
I’m angry about feeling fear.
And I don’t like how that looks.