Today, I Fail

All life long

I’ve worked hard to see

The good in people

Who are not always so good.

I’m ashamed to say

Today,

I fail.

I admit defeat.

And I am heartsick

Over knowing

There are people in this world

I

Do

Not

Like.

And I cannot forgive them.

But they wouldn’t care anyway.

I Fail

Β I’m most disappointed in me

For letting myself down

If it is even but temporary

I lose

When I surrender

My values and beliefs.

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60 thoughts on “Today, I Fail

  1. Well, it had to happen eventually, but this was a rather public way of letting me know! Sorry to make light of it Colleen. Sorry for your disappointment.

  2. goldenbrodie says:

    Well, we try, we fail, we learn. The good in you always rises.

  3. Sometimes that will happen but hopefully, Colleen, one day that person or persons will surprise you and give you something to be able to see some good in them. However, it may take a long time.

  4. tarafaherty says:

    It’s called being human. And some just don’t possess enough good for it to be seen. Goodness, even the brilliance of a diamond can be blocked by a layer of dirt! I FORBID YOU to beat yourself up for a natural response to being wronged. I LOVE YOU!

  5. ksbeth says:

    and that is just your humanity showing, nothing wrong with that –

  6. Anonymous says:

    This is a temporary state. Your goodness will prevail!!

  7. Anonymous says:

    But, just for the record……i don’t like them today either. It’s called solidarity!

  8. Sobering thought, but isn’t it nice to know, it is the exception? You’ve done your best. Ruminate and then let go. It’s not a nice feeling to come up to slime patches on your pathway. Maybe the sunshine will dry them up.

  9. russtowne says:

    Tomorrow is another day, my friend. I believe you’ll find when you awaken that you surrendered neither your values nor your beliefs. but instead merely had a human reaction to behavior that you cannot understand, condone, nor accept. Rejecting a behavior is okay. and often commendable, if the behavior harms others.

  10. Charis Black says:

    #deep deep deep deep. I am just feeling this same way. I like to think i have a forgiving heart… Nah, i can be stone cold sometimes but i like to believe in good than surrender to the supremacy of evil. Thanks Chatter Master for this piece. Nicely done.

  11. Jim McKeever says:

    It’s on them, not you, Colleen. As a wise person (aka therapist) once said to me, “Some things are just bigger than you.” Not better, just beyond hope/repair. Go where the love is, and do your best to ignore the others.

  12. You didn’t fail – you are human. πŸ’œ

  13. Don’t be so hard on yourself, it happens to all of us at one time or another. It will make you try again. Remember, if you try and fail, you are not a failure. You are a failure only if you fail to try. Everyone falls, what counts is that you get up and keep going. :o)

  14. jmgoyder says:

    I don’t know the context of this but it reminded me of what my psychologist said to me a few weeks ago. She said, “You expect the best in everyone, especially yourself, so you don’t cope well when others let you down or you yourself let you down”.

  15. Bernadette says:

    You need to love everyone but you don’t need to like them. You haven’t failed.

  16. It’s not a failure, just a sad realization. It happens to us all. Focus on the good. ☺

  17. Sometimes it’s hard to be human and a part of the human condition, struggling with our own lofty expectations, etc. Doubtful there is a one of us among you hasn’t experienced what you have. We are what we are. For my two cents you’re the best of the human experience. ❀

  18. mewhoami says:

    Based on the topic of my last post, I completely understand this. I wish everyone was likeable and still deep within me I want to believe they are or would be if we could *truly* understand them. But to truly understand some people, it would require us to walk in their shoes from the moment of birth till now; something we obviously can’t do.

  19. Colleen: I understand where you are coming from. Wouldn’t the world be a beautiful place if everyone had positive character traits? It only took me about 2 mo out of my 5 yrs in DC to learn to take most everything with a grain of sand. In my 20 yr career, I saw far too much wrong and with what Tom and I have experienced in our years of negotiating the medical system – well, most of my trust is gone. Sheri

    • This makes me sad Sheri. Because I understand it. I have blessed to the maximum with who I have been surrounded with in life by family, friends and the work force. So I think that’s why it still hits me hard when I see such things that shake my belief in the human spirit.

      I still believe. I still believe. But I am shaken.

  20. Val Boyko says:

    Life sucks sometimes. Yet it also keeps changing.
    We always have a choice whether to stick with our beliefs or reevaluate and let them go.
    I recall my mother and aunt didn’t speak for the last 30 years of my aunt’s life. I think that holding on to being “right” only causes more heart ache….

  21. Debra says:

    It’s humbling when we realize we are very imperfect. People really do try our patience and our peace. 😦

  22. reocochran says:

    Honestly, I wouldn’t trust someone who liked Everyone!! πŸ™‚ hugs xo

    • πŸ˜‰ I can’t imagine liking everyone…..but there’s always been that hope that there is something good within everyone. (this is where if we were sitting across a table from everyone I would drop my shoulders and sigh) πŸ˜‰

  23. I just finished working with my little brother on a college essay. Failure is not a bad thing. But an opportunity to grow. Sounds like your minds made up on some matters here. But there’s always an opportunity to change the way we see people and the world

    • I agree failure is an opportunity to grow. Thankfully!

      I didn’t really have a choice in this matter. Something happened that I had no control over, but that impacted me greatly. I know I have control over how I react to something, but where I try to react as positively as I can, to make something good out of something bad, sometimes…. Things are done to others that are hurtful and we can’t help but feel that pain.

      It did change how I saw some people. And that hurt ME to admit that, not them, at all.

      Thank you Mark David Goodson. πŸ™‚

  24. I think the key is to feel sorry for those sorts of people. Somewhere along the line, things when poorly in their lives, and they made a fatal decision which only led to more bad decisions and so down that path they went. I can only feel sorry for them.

    • I know the ‘easy’ thing to do is get frustrated, or angry, and truthfully, I often do feel sorry for them. But those rare moments when something hits me, unexpectedly and hard, I have a natural reaction…. and I’m flumoxed by it all. But….another day, another attitude grows and takes over. I won’t let them define me. Though for that moment……

  25. πŸ™‚ xxx always thoughtful my dear friend

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