One Frail Voice Singing

I pushed through the heavy door.  Walked to the reception counter where the receptionist never spoke with me unless I spoke first.   I Signed my name but did not write down anything under “Reason For Visit”.

As I was signing in I heard a high pitched “song” being sung.  I put the pen down, looked at the receptionist who was ignoring me though she was only about 18 inches from me, and facing me.   I couldn’t  hear the song but I could hear the tune of it, and the tune of her voice.  I turned 180 degrees to head up the first hall. My plan was to walk the length of the hall, turn right down the second hall and finally turn left on the third hall.

But when I stepped in to the first hall I had to stop.

I smiled.

I slowly walked past the first door on my left.  Looking in as I passed.  I stopped before I got to the second door on the left and leaned against the wall with my left shoulder.

Just to  listen.

Listen to one frail voice singing very loudly.  Joyfully.  Word for word, the right words to almost every song.  Louder,  and more joyfully, than everyone else.  Including the song director, who was also the piano player.

I leaned forward and rolled my head around the doorway, peeking  into the cafeteria.  There was a group of people sitting in half circle layers before the woman playing the portable organ.

I pulled back again.  I didn’t want them to see me.  I just wanted to listen and listen some more.

Twice, staff stopped and asked me if I needed help finding someone.  Twice I said “no, I just want to listen”.

The room was full of people.  A room full of history and memories.  A room full of parents.  A room full of lovers.  A room full of workers.  A room full of students.  A room full of veterans.  A room full of sorrows lived.  A room  full of secrets told and secrets kept.  A room full of laughter and jokes and brilliantly fun times.  A room full of loss.  A room full of promise.  A room full of heart break.  A room full of loves promise.  A room full of youth grown old.

Looking in the room so many would see ‘old’.

But I saw a room of life.  And music playing.  And life singing.

I had to walk away-to work.  It’s why I was there.  As I walked away her voice and the voice of the others followed me.  Her voice following me the longest.  But I headed back to that first hallway, that second doorway, when I was done.  Her voice pulling me and leading my way back.

This time I stood in the doorway.  Next to a staff member.  I watched.  I listened.  I found her voice.  I found her.  She looked at me.  It had to be one of those “I feel someone looking at me”sensations.  Because I was looking at her.

I gave her a “thumbs up”.  She smiled and waved her tambourine at me.

It was the last song.

I was sad it was over.

The singing piano playing lady told them how magnificent they were.  And they were.

The room was so full.  Of so much.  That couldn’t be seen.

I had to leave and as I left I thought…..  Sing me this song.  When I sit in that room.  Where others see old.  I want to be the life.  The music.  The song.   I want to be that loud frail voice singing joyfully.

And shaking my tambourine at someone.

I pushed my way back out through that heavy door.

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31 thoughts on “One Frail Voice Singing

  1. ksbeth says:

    what a powerful experience

  2. Beautiful experience. You never know what is waiting for you around the next turn. :o)

  3. What a wonderful delightful experience!

  4. A room full of life and song…so glad that you recognized that. I have a feeling that you will indeed be the one to someday be shaking that tambourine. I hope that we all are. Beautiful post. ❤️ I think I needed something like this today..Thanks.

  5. reocochran says:

    There was someone touched deeply in that hallway who shared her precious moments listening with us. Thank you, Colleen.

  6. Lovely! I remember my 102 year old neighbor smiling at me, and her eyes twinkling, when she said “Well, you have to have fun!” Let’s hope we are able to sing and smile and remember and live well, and enjoy our family and friends as they age.

  7. tric says:

    How many passed and heard nothing? Life is all about moments.
    Lovely post and you captured the ‘moment’ so well.

  8. How lovely. (But sad about the receptionist. I’ve met that receptionist. She’s everywhere. I often think, find a job where someone like you is better suited, but what do I know.) Gosh I love the elderly. I’m so glad you do too. YOU are most definitely in the job that suits you, and for that I am grateful to God.

  9. Definitely captures a moment Colleen!

  10. I love how music and rhythm can awaken those living with dementia, and show, for a brief moment, something of what they were, and are inside! Thank you for sharing this Colleen.

  11. Debra says:

    You were there for a very special moment and you took the time to fully let it absorb you. Isn’t it interesting that those privileged enough to be there for many such moments weren’t paying any attention at all. We were speaking just the other day about my mother-in-law who lived out her last days in an assisted facility and was so fond of her glee club. It added such joy! Very nice, Colleen.

    • I thought the same thing, about those who ‘could’ have heard it. I initially thought about saying that, but, I’ve been in that and other ‘homes’ often enough, some of those places (most) don’t have enough persons to do what’s needed as it is. I wondered if they would have stopped to listen, if they could have? Or, I did wonder, if any of those people’s families, ever came in to listen. It really was a wonderful sound. Thank you Debra.

  12. April says:

    😀 Now, that’s a wonderful way to live in the moment. I hope the music continues to play in your mind.

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