I was watching a man, in a video, talk about his interpretation of debt and toxicity.
I was pretty taken in by what he had to say.
He spoke about debt in financial terms, emotional terms, and relationship terms.
And he spoke about toxicity in society and in relationships.
It wasn’t just about ‘others’, but about each of us and our role in a toxic and indebted society.
I wasn’t surprised to realize I saw the truth in this and could relate to what he said.
The problem is, to protect one’s self from this type of debt and toxicity is a life style. A life style I am both drawn to and hesitant to enter into. In my most comfortable state I am an introvert and comfortable with myself. The ironic twist to this is that I feel ‘guilty’ if I am not interacting with and social with the world around me. Paradox anyone?
To protect one’s self from debt you do not spend or expend that which you are not able to afford. Seems simple enough.
But how often do we do just that? Financially just consider the loans, credit cards and monthly bills that we create. To be honest though, I am far more overdrawn emotionally than financially.
I am both intrigued by what he has to say about how we can address these things in our own lives and frightened by the possibility of doing it, or not doing it.
It’s all about choices and doing.
There’s no mask or suit for this kind of protection.
I believe we all need to reach out and help each other. I do try to not linger near toxic people who suck energy, time and sometimes money. I would help those who I have known who needed help, weeded gardens, cooked meals and washed laundry. When I reached out to a few of these folks when I needed help, they scattered, sadly.
I wish I knew what direction you are most concerned about, Colleen. . .
I have much less debt than many of my friends. Being married, I had debt but tried to stay afloat by working five days a week, four nights a week and took Master’s degree classes to keep a hold of my job. My ex-husband stayed at home, nursing his wounds of being laid off. It upset me to lose my house and his car, but I am glad I learned how to surprise others by not worrying nor crying.
I just moved forward, one foot in front of the other. . . hugs! ❤ Best wishes for a relaxed, warm and cozy New Year’s Eve.🎆 🎉 ❄
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I wasn’t really concerned about a direction per se, Robin. I am watching this series of videos about building a cabin and he shared his personal thoughts on debt and toxicity. I was intrigued by his thoughts. It just made me look at things in a different way.
And yes, your example is perfect. You learned something, you worked on self reliance and moved forward. THAT’S the way to do it. 🙂
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Thank you for sharing your “behind the scenes” motivation. I like thinking about log cabins in woods or in the country. This is so fascinating.
I had hoped my thoughts weren’t too far astray. Isn’t it funny how two people in a conversation may be on two different “pages,” but neither is “wrong?” 😀 Thanks for your affirmation in, “that’s the way to do it.” ❤
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❤
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it is an ever-present balancing act
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Always present never gets done kind of balancing act Beth. You’re right.
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I try to avoid toxic people most possible too, Colleen.
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It’s interesting how this guy spoke about this. And about how we can also be toxic to others. And accepting that about ourselves and others may have to distance themselves from ‘us’ too. And accepting that is part of the process.
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I agree, it is very interesting, Colleen. When I look back in my life, I can also see, that I have been too much for some people. For many years, I have done my best not to behave or act bad to anyone and by being awake, I feel sure, this helps.
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That’s how I feel. I need to be aware of ‘me’ and be understanding that I am “too much” for others and be okay with that too.
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Your Mr Incredible Mask, and Wonder Women Suit, do become you Colleen, but if you want to stay your inconspicuous self, best you go for as less toxic costume….
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True Ivor, I don’t think I could, or would want to, wear this through out life!!!
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The balance of life…
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Keeps us focused….
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I think we are all paradoxes, dichotomies. The challenge is balancing and you seem very competent in that regard. Happy New Year to you and yours. ❤
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That’s the truth Paulette. 🙂 Thank you for getting me. ❤ Happy New Year to you and yours!
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yeah exactly! great blog, appreciation from india!
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Thank you Siddharthbanga 🙂
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Well put, MBC. Overdrawn emotionally. Yikes!
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Right? It’s frightening! 🙂
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That emotional paradox…is something we all share, C. I avoid some encounters to protect myself, then feel guilty about it later. But, with time, I always recover. Wishing you balance in 2018. Happy New Year.
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Thank you Van, I always seek that balance. Sometimes I find it, sometimes it eludes me. Happy New Year to you as well!
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You have offered much food for thought here and the drawing is a statement all by itself! It prompts me to more deeply explore my own role in a toxic and indebted society, then decide what lifestyle changes may be required or acceptable. Thank-you!!
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You’re so welcome Ellen. I appreciate your feedback on what this meant to you. I hope that “I” remember this for myself too. It is a constant awareness on what we do/allow/present.
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I love the Personal Protection Equipment look Colleen. I shed mine some time ago and just keep a small shield handy to ward off the toxicity and negativity. It is difficult, sometimes, not to join in, but I do try my best.
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Those small shields come in handy if one is adept with them Peter. 😉 I don’t think I can pull off this equipment without missing a good deal of things I don’t want to miss!
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It is such a difficult balance at times, I do understand! I feel like I spent entirely too much money simply responding to invitations and social events that I am glad I attended for their social opportunities, but maybe cost more than I would have ordinarily been comfortable spending. I find it a complicated issue!
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Oh those things really tear at me. Some I just feel so overwhelmed in attending. I don’t do “dress up” well so there is ‘that’ anxiety, and when there are so many people, there’s the anxiety of trying to talk to everyone without leaving anyone out, those things aren’t exactly ‘toxic’ but I get so anxious about them it becomes toxic. And so many other things!
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