22 thoughts on “No

  1. Throughout my life I had always found it nearly impossible to say “no” to any request, even at my own peril I would say “yes” or at the very least say “maybe”. I thought it inconsiderate and unkind to say no. It took me a long time to be able to say no without a residual feeling of guilt…age has its benefits, a bit of wisdom amongst them. Had I read the writing of Paulo Coelho sooner I might have known : “Don’t say yes if you want to say no.” It seems you discovered the value of the fine art of saying “No” much earlier than I. Thank-you!

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    • There were times, when I didn’t even know I could ‘say no’. I’ve come to terms with what was and how that inability to utter that word altered my life. I’ve still found myself in an amazing place. I didn’t learn to use that word for so long. I have since been amazed, grateful and stunned when I see children and adults use the word. I have long taught my children/grands that ‘no’ is okay. And it is their power. Thank you Ellen.

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  2. This strikes a chord! Aren’t we all guilty of hiding and suppressing the voice of our hearts in the voice that we actually speak out, as a means to not hurt the other person, or just because we couldn’t bring ourselves to say that, even when it hurts us so much.

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    • Exactly Parikhit ! Unfortunately I was both fearful and couldn’t bring myself to confront others. Despite what it cost me. I have often written about the time in college when a college professor said “we always have choice”. It literally made me sit up and pay attention. I had truly lived to that point in life not truly recognizing that. Including, the ability to say ‘no’.

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      • I completely understand and relate to you there. I have always found it hard to say ‘no’ so much so that with time I became that person who will always be there irrespective of anything and a little squeak of a no would be considered treachery and ‘how could you say no’! But with time I have started to pounce upon a choice for my well being lest I be half-hearted with my help too.

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