As much as I write ‘here’ I am not often writing about ‘me’ or anything specific I am going through. Sometimes whatever is going on around me may influence me, or it may be something I jotted in my notebook last week or last year. This one is kind of personal but not because anything is going on or has prompted it. I know I’ve written about it before, about I do not like to be yelled at. If anyone is yelling at me I am not hearing their message. Not one single word of it. Speak softly, however, and I am all ears. I’m sure it goes back to my dad. I never remember him yelling. I’m not saying he didn’t. But I don’t remember it. I do remember him speaking very softly, the angrier he may have been, the softer he spoke. Maybe that’s where it comes from. I don’t think it has anything to do with the ‘speak softly and carry a big stick’ quote from Teddy Roosevelt. I think it has more to do with sensory (who enjoys being yelled at?) and perception. Yelling is anger and disrespect and elicits a physical response, and an emotional response. Both negative. Speaking softly has the appearance of more thought, and consideration for who may be listening and the message being shared. If I have a reaction, physical or emotional, it comes from hearing the actual message.
Ironically, I have a VERY loud voice that is often interpreted as ‘yelling’. So, there’s that.
(c)
My receptors tend to switch off whenever voices are raised, although I did have to learn to adjust that whilst in the army!
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I bet you did!!!!
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I know of which you speak, MBC. When I’m merely “into” a conversation sometimes people say “you don’t have to yell.” I don’t realize that’s how I’m being interpreted sometimes, and that’s not good.
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I get it. My voice is just loud. No intent behind it. It just ‘is’. But the yelling….that’s different.
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Yes for sure, MBC.
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I am not a person that responds well to any form of yelling either
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It does nothing to get me to pay attention or ‘hear’ anything.
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Interesting even my dogs leave the room when voices are raised. Yelling doesn’t do it for me either.
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I’ll leave with the pups.
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Oh Lord. Loud voice. Me too.
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Best thing someone can do to have me tune out is yell.
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I am so glad you shared a little bit of insight into how you have arrived at an appreciation for words spoken softly. It is true that yelling can obscure the message and only be experienced as anger, even if that isn’t the intent. This inspires me to think more about my tone of voice. 🙂
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Thank you Debra. I have started saying “do I sound like I’m yelling?” just because my voice can be booming.
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That’s so funny! My dad had a loud voice, I have a loud voice and my son does, too. I think we’ve all been misunderstood a few times because I think we can sound more emphatic than we intend. I try to work on that. LOL!
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It’s hard to defeat nature! It’s by nature that I boom.
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