I remember what fresh air smelled like. I remember sucking it in, in vast quantities, and enjoying it. A lot. Even laced with the heavy scent of freshly cut grass, or mowed hay. Especially after grass had been cut or mowed. I recall walking in to dank and/or dusty old houses and thrilling at the scent of age and old as it lingered in a house that had not been a home for decades as I explored what use to be. I went about the world and my life not having to be concerned with the air that traversed in and out of my body, through my nasal passages, filling and expanding my lungs.
Ah….the days of air in, air out.
Taken over….gave way, to the days of allergens.
In a couple of weeks I will be merrily making my way to an allergist. Yes, merrily. Because I need to find out why I can not breathe, why antibiotics are my new best friend, and why I suspect I am now allergic to all of my favorite things. It seems that I can not turn left, nor right, or go any where in this large world and not run in to something that slams me to the ground and shoves allergens up my nose, down my throat and in to my belly, or stops and sits in my ears. Its in the air. Its in the food. Its in my genes. These things of my allergies. (I tried to rhyme those last two lines, did you pick up on that? If not go back and read them again.)
I’ve decided to lay down a bet to see what I can predict I will be allergic to. I did see an allergist many years ago and was told a few basics. But things are now so bad I have come to the conclusion I am allergic to many many more things. Things air borne. Things of food, which generally I inhale as well. Things that are in my life, and I enjoy, so I must be allergic.
The following is a list of things I predict I will be allergic to:
Chocolate (I already know this so I must include it).
Nutella (it does not count as chocolate, it is a health food).
Frozen peanut butter in ice cream.
Cinnamon Raisin Bagel.
Adults, over the age of 18, under the height of 5’ 3”.
Vibram Five Fingers. Also known as VFF.
Fake tan in a bottle.
Black and Red.
Pretzels with peanut butter in them.
Little bitty houses.
Things I won’t be allergic to: liver, lima beans and push-ups.
How much you wanna bet?