Antibiotic Induced Depression

It’s real.

I just took my last antibiotic of a ten day course.

After day four I noticed a change in my outlook.   A darkening of the sky.  A furrow in my brow.

By day six and seven I was ready to find a cave and crawl in it.   I knew the reason for the sub par mood.   I know it was the antibiotic.   How do I know this?  Because when my vision of the world around me started to dim that fast I knew there was a reason.  A cause.   And son of a gun when I looked it up, I was right.  Grant it, I love being right.   I only liked being right in this scenario because it told me there would be an end to it.  But I still had a few days to go.  And just knowing that every time I took another pill I was adding the depression chemical to my brain chemistry I shuddered.

Days eight and nine were fogged and full of woe and blah.

I do not like depression.

I do not like it at all.

I use to think I understood depression and had sympathy for those who suffer from it.   But I now have a new and totally empathetic understanding for those who suffer from depression.

To be quite frank, blunt and childish about it:   it sucks.

And I was relieved that this will  possibly be short lived.   That is the only way I managed to take those pills twice a day.   Well, that and I didn’t want that nasty-I-don’t-want-to-explain-it-again-grossness back.  In addition to depression, sinus infections also suck.

And then this morning dawned.   I nearly did the happy dance this morning when I took the last pill.

I actually felt lighter of spirit all day knowing I did not have to come home and take another dose.  Though the chemical effect was still inside of me,  I was celebrating all day  the end of the depression dosing.

Wouldn’t it be just horrible to not be able to control your mood?  Determine your outlook?    I shudder at the brief tango I had with this beast.   I do not like it.   Not at all.