Death Sentence

No worries.  No drama here.

Just dreams.

I had a dream last night that I had a conversation with someone.  Someone who I have not talked with in a very long time, and someone who probably does not want to talk with me.  The conversation wasn’t really a conversation.  I said “I never hated you” and he didn’t say anything, that I recall.  But I woke up with the feeling that we had talked, or should talk.   That the dream was a conversation.

I discussed this with Husband after work.  He thinks one of us, from the dream,  has a message to get to the other one.  I just don’t know if it’s my message to him.  Or his message to me.

Or if it was just a dream.

And when I woke up, the words “death sentence”  were running through my head.  And they have continued.

All day.

Contemplation of these two words have filled my every thought not being occupied by pressing work matters.  Or every moment not pressed in to emotional connection with others through out the day.

Is the dream, and the waking thought, connected?

And my thoughts about “death sentence”?   Nothing morbid.  Well, some might think it is.  But it isn’t.  I mean aren’t we all given a death sentence when we are born?  Oh, quit freaking out on me.  I don’t mean that in a bad way.  I mean it in a realistic, we are born, we die, kind of way.  I don’t know of anyone that has evaded this.  Therefor it is not morbid.  It just is.

I don’t have a negative jittery feeling about this.  It just feels …. pressing.  Urgent?  Urgent, may be too strong a word.  Something I shouldn’t avoid?  But, I don’t know what it is I should or should not avoid.

Do our thoughts trigger our dreams.  Or do our dreams trigger our thoughts.  Or does one have nothing to do with the other.

Or should I have not eaten the chili last night?

And don’t I need to be grateful I can tell Husband I was dreaming about another guy last night?