We have so much going on in our lives. And each and every one of us has something different than the other, that matters to us. That gives us joy. Gives us comfort. Adds to the reasons we live and enjoy our lives. Something is important to us. Someone is important to us. Some place is important to us.
Sometimes we don’t understand one another’s joys and loves.
And that just makes sense.
We aren’t privy to one another’s thought processes. We don’t have access to each other’s perception.
We just don’t.
And that is part of the diversity of each of us. It’s part of the joy of finding out about one another and learning new things. It’s what makes relationships interesting and why we sit over coffee and talk for hours about our stories and our experiences. We talk so much because we are so different.
And who wants to be just like someone else?
Not at all.
And I obviously love sharing.
There are things in my life that I enjoy doing. There are people in my life that I love. There are things that I take comfort from that others would not understand, or get, at all. I mean, who in their right mind enjoys getting up at 5:05 a.m. to ride a bike in a dark room while reading or watching videos? Me, when I’m in my right mind. Because it does give me comfort.
It’s my comfort. My perception of what feels good.
Who in their right mind would love me? And take joy from having me in their life? Well, there are some. (Note to thank God for this.) But not everyone would. I get that and I’m totally okay with that.
I don’t understand everything, or every person, that others love and take comfort from. I don’t feel the connection. I have no access to that connection. But I understand there is a connection. A love. A need. I understand the joy in others lives.
And I understand the pain and suffering others get from the loss of something they love. Even if I did not love it. I understand the loss of an ability to do something they love even if I never loved doing it. I understand pain, even if I don’t feel it.
But understanding pain and loss does not always give me insight.
Sometimes….sometimes….. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to give the comfort someone needs.
It doesn’t mean I don’t want to give comfort.
It means I don’t know how. Or what I can do or say to help.
But not knowing how to give what someone else needs does not mean I do not care. It means that sometimes even as friends and family we will stand painfully by and feel useless and powerless.
Sometimes not being able to share someone’s pain, is a pain all it’s own.
I would never want my confusion, or my lack of ability to perform first aide for the soul to be misconstrued as not caring.
Compassion and love for those we care about do not always give us the answers we need.
Sometimes all we can do is absolutely nothing but be willing to flounder in our inability to help.
I flounder. I fail. But it does not ever mean I don’t care.