My Promise Again

My promise to who I am.

Regardless of how well people think they know me there are some things that I want to make sure are understood about me.  If you ever need to come in to my home and make decisions for me because that’s what needs done I would appreciate it if you know these things and respect them.

I promise that I primarily prefer people to be happy.   I understand sadness and moodiness.  But my promise to myself is to keep those feelings in check.  Limit their stay.  And wallow in joy.

I promise that I am not vain.   But I am particular about being clean.   I don’t mind getting dirty as long as I can get clean as soon as I’m done with the need to be dirty.  I like my hair not too short but short enough to be messy spiky.  I prefer to not stink.  Though I don’t need to be all perfumey.  I like my clothes to fit.  But be comfortable.  As it is right now my outfit of choice is bike shorts and extra large nylon type shirts.  I prefer barefoot.

I promise that I love music.  I will sway my hands in the air as I ride my bike on a trainer as I sing along with a song.  Or I fold my hands over my heart if I am moved by emotion and faithful music.  I promise I’ll try to listen to anything.  But if I can’t sing to it it probably won’t need to be played a second time for me.

I promise when I sing songs I will get the lyrics wrong.

I  promise I will always be afraid of not like snakes.   I promise I find no joy in being teased about this.

I promise that I love quiet, as much as I love music.   There’s a balance.  Sadly, only I know it.

I promise that I love people.   I admire people.  I empathize with people.  I hurt for people.  I celebrate for people.   But I am not always at ease with people.

I promise that I never want someone else to hurt- for me to find joy or happiness.   That is an impossibility.

I promise that there are things I can live without.   But there are people who without them I could not exist.

I promise that I will always love chocolate.  Dark chocolate is my favorite.

I promise that I will always think there is something I should be doing differently to be a better person.

I promise that the above statement is a completely healthy way to want to live.

I promise that even in the hardest moments of my life I will find, eventually and maybe hidden, joy in my heart.

I promise that though I have mostly removed many things from my diet I will always, stress always, love:  BBQ ribs; deep fried buckeyes, deep fried almost anything; meatloaf; hot white bread with real butter; cake; full fat ice cream; cheeseburgers; it’s probably safe to say pretty much all foods that are bad for you.   I promise the only reason I restrict them is because I want to live as long as possible.

I promise I am not perfect.

I promise you that there are those among you that I admire every single day of my life.

I promise that I love to laugh.

I promise that I love to pray.

I promise that I love to listen to other’s life stories.

I promise that I could write hundreds more sentences that start with “I promise”.

But my promises are for my children.  My friends.  My family.   So I feel I  can never make enough of them.  And I want to work hard to stay true to my promise.

I promise to be who I am for as long as I can be.

I promise to love you.  It’s who I am.

I write this in honor of all of the people I see on nearly a daily basis who have no one left to hold them to their promise of themselves.