The Darker Side Of Me

We all have one.   A darker side of us.   And mine was out in full force today.  I didn’t try to avoid it or do anything about it either.  I just let it be.  Because sometimes no matter what we do, we carry it with us, and can’t get rid of it.  And why bother?  Even as children we are surprised by it.  Amused by it.  And for some reason, it’s not even a burden.  It doesn’t cost us any more.   It’s not so heavy that we can’t handle it.  It’s just there.  Sometimes.  And sometimes, not only is it okay…it’s quite enjoyable.

I wasn’t even paying any attention to it until I went on a bike ride.  My trusty single speed hauling me over familiar trail.   When I spotted a swing.   A swing I see every single time I go on this trail.  A swing I always wanted to stop at.  So, today, I did.  Nothing fancy.  But I always appreciated that this swing was just there, with no relation to anything going on around it.  And it looked large enough for the big peoples like me to be tempted.   FYI-I am easily (sadly) tempted.   Just ask any innocent bagel sitting around.  That’s right, there aren’t any.

This is where I first caught a glimpse of me, the darker side of me.   And I was kind of intrigued.  I knew it was me.  But would anyone else know it was me?  Would they recognize me?

I felt a little jealous that this side of me seems so ageless.  So unburdened.  It’s kind of crazy how freeing it must be, to be like that.

But there I was.

Don’t tell me you expected to see pictures of my holding up a liquor store?  Or pocketing some Snackwell’s (lowfat cookies) from the nearest convenience store?  Did you?  Did you?   Well, if you did:    I have nothing else to say to you.

It was very relaxing to allow myself to go on a bike ride without a rush or a push to a timed finish.  I lolligagged enough to eat a snack while I swung.  Swang?  Swinged?

I like that a sunny day brings out the dark side of me.  And the dark side of me is playful.  Un-aged.  Fun.  Worry free.  And easy to get along with.

Pfffft.  For those of you expecting something worse…..shame.    Go out and play.  Find your dark side.