My Job Performance

If you prefer a short read this morning scroll to the bottom where I condense over 900 words in to 49 words.  

Every year we “get” performance evaluations.  Every year we “get” to do self evaluations.  Every year I groan and bemoan the absurdity of these forms.  It’s part of my ‘why make life so complicated’ questions.

I think we have fallen far far far away from what should be expected.  The norm of having a job should be :  you get a job, and you do a good job at it,    Unfortunately what has happened over time is that a minority of job holding individuals do screw up work.  They pass it off, they don’t do it, they do it wrong or not at all, etc.   And as a result every employee has to pay the price.   Instead of evaluating the employee doing the bad job someone thought it wise to make everyone be evaluated.  Though many people may say it’s not a minority because they all know screw ups where they work, just think of the billions of people who have held jobs over the years.  I believe that considering the numbers, it would be a minority who could be classified as screw ups.

I have been very lucky as far as ‘jobs’ go.  I have always been in a position to discuss, even argue, any point of my job with my supervisors.  I have been very blessed with not having to be a ‘yes man’ to those I have worked for and/or with.  There is no doubt in my mind that not everyone has that in their job situation.  I do.  I am not only able to speak my mind, my perspective, my disagreement:  I am heard.

There’s a whole lotta gratitude in that above statement.

There’s not a whole lotta gratitude in having to do job performance evaluations.   Sorry, I hear my dad’s voice saying “Colleen, you get to do that job performance evaluation”.   I roll my eyes at dad in heaven and mutter, fine, I get to do this job performance evaluation.  Point made, I have a good job, a very good job, where I have the opportunity to make a difference.  For that I am grateful.

But here is what I am thinking I might put on my evaluation where it asks for some feedback….

Though these appraisals must serve a purpose, to me they are frustrating.  I come in to work every day to do my job.  Sitting down to write out why what I do has value-feels almost counter productive to how I want to do my job.  If I can’t come up with an ‘example’ of how well I do something it makes me think that those reading this won’t be inclined to believe of my value as an employee.  I come in to work, I do my job, I interact with customers, with agency partners, with community resources, with co-workers, etc.  When I’m done with one thing I go on to another.  I don’t feel a need to keep tally marks or inventory of my greatest work moments.  I just go on to what needs done next.  I don’t want to-at the end of each year-review and self promote a job well done.  However, if  I don’t-I will not be eligible for appropriate pay increases.  I believe I have value to my employer.  My work ethics, my dependability and me fulfilling my duties and responsibilities are tracked.  Or I wouldn’t still be here.  At the end of the day I want to go home and see that face in the mirror and not be horrified or mortified by the person I see.  That’s why I do a good job for you, because I have a responsibility to myself as well.  And others who may be watching me (family, friends).  I want to feel good about who I am and how I conduct myself.  This includes how well I do my job.  And I need to feel good about what I do in my job when so many times, what I have to do in my job, doesn’t feel good.   It’s difficult work at times.  And at times, it’s extremely difficult.  

I submit this evaluation with respect and because as my employer you ask me to do it.  I apologize for the inward groan that often times finds it’s self being expressed when I get this form…

Because not only do I have to evaluate my job ethics and my moral compass (I mean, you’re paying me to work so I do!) I also have to come up with ‘goals and objectives’.    Every year I simply want to write “My Goal Is To Do The Best Job I Can”.    I want to show up to work on time, I want to do what I’m supposed to do, I want to be trust worthy, I want to be dependable, I want to address the stressors of this kind of job so that I remain as healthy as possible.   

I want to tell you a little story.  A man and woman fell in love.  He struggled to verbally say all that he felt.  It didn’t minimize what he felt.  Not at all.  He was loyal, devoted and a very good man.   So he told his bride to be that he loved her, and if he ever changed his mind, he would tell her.   I want to say to you, that I will be a very good employee, and if I ever change my mind I will leave.

 After writing all of this out I know what I really want to say.

Colleen’s Self Job Performance Evaluation:

I do a good job.  When I don’t want to any longer do a good job, I will tell you.  Thank you for the opportunity to help others.

Goals :  To Do The Best Job I Can.

Objectives on how to achieve these goals:  Do It Every Day.

Colleen is there anything else you would like to say:  Yes.  Thank you.