Parental Penance

I was fairly tolerant as a parent.  And by “fairly” I mean I would tell my kids they could tell me what ever they wanted as long as they didn’t yell at me.  Admittedly, I was bossy (what part of “mom” don’t you understand?).  My children will fully disagree with me claiming to be “fair”.  But after their children go through their teen-age years we’ll see where they stand on this.  But I have to admit  there is one thing I absolutely could not tolerate.  Ridiculous as it was.

I had no patience for it.

It was unacceptable.

And I was a horrible parent for it.

This is a major fail on my part.  But I still cannot tolerate it.

There is one noise I absolutely abhor.

Can’t stand it.

When I would hear it my ears would ache, I would physically cringe, my shoulders would hunch and I get a tingly fire down my back.

The horrible sound?

When my oldest daughter would drink liquids.

She does this gulping…thing.

It’s not a disgusting sound I would bet, to about 99.99% of the rest of the population on earth.  I’m not sure anyone else can even hear it.  But for some reason when I hear it it plays on my nerves like a poorly played banjo string.

She knows it.  Because when I fail as a parent I run screaming from the room with my hands over my ears.   That’s a lie.  I don’t do that.  I just stare at her and tell her to stop it.   She doesn’t know how to stop it and is now at an age where she can tell me how stupid I am.   I accept that.  I am.

Then the other day….

Oldest Daughter and I were on “Skype”.  Her little ones were running around.  They were in and out of our discussion.  Oldest Daughter starts to tell me about her day with the little people.  She was laughing about what the kids had done and said.   Then to set the stage for a story she was going to tell me about her children she says something.

Then.

There.

It.

Was.

Redeemed!

Understood!

Validated!

She said “mom no wonder you couldn’t stand to hear me drink!  I so understand now!”

I started to laugh.  I thought I was going to cry.  I told her she has no idea how much that means to me.  I always wondered if I was a horrible parent-nee person! For not being able to tolerate that sound.

But Oldest Daughter gets the last laugh after all.

Husband is her step-father.  No blood there.  Yet they share the same  -I-thought-it-went-with-her-when-she-moved trait.

He makes that damn gulping noise.

So I live eternally with my ears aching, physically cringing,  shoulders hunching and tingly fire down my back.

Validated and penance.

That will teach me to be validated.