Does This Make Me A Bad Person?

I’m standing still right now.   Not moving anywhere.  I’m afraid to look ahead.   Part of me wants to freeze the right now.  But I can’t.  I can’t stop time.  I can’t stop changes from happening.

I know what kind of person I claim to be.

Now I have to be it.

Or not.

I’m at the fork.    Needing to decide so I can move.

I need to move.

I’m standing here knowing I’ve decided I don’t want retaliation in my life.  I don’t want revenge.  I don’t want any more bad things to happen.  Not to anyone.  I don’t want to wish suffering on anyone.

But I do want something.

I wish for people in this world to understand.  To comprehend and truly realize the impact of the their actions, their words, and their in-actions on others.  I want them to wake up, look in the mirror, and see in their own faces the reality of what they have done to other people.  I want them to see their own callousness.  I want them to feel the fear and anxiety they cause.  I want them to know the sorrow they create.

I am thinking the realization of the reality of what they have done to others should be burden enough for them.   If there is truth in what they see, the burden of that truth will be enough.

Is that retaliation?

Does this make me a bad person?

I have to move.   And I have to take this decision with me.

But being the person I want to be there is a caveat.  If I wish this on others.  I must be prepared to do the same.  To wake up and see the impact of what I have done, in my face.   To feel the result of my actions on others in my heart.   To carry the burden of the suffering I have caused on my shoulders.

I know I would see, I would feel, and I would carry.

Because I do.   I accept that I do.

Does that make me a bad person?